1 00:00:03,533 --> 00:00:05,800 Diana: THIS IS A PATHETIC LIFE. 2 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,967 I NEVER, EVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN TO ME. 3 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,500 Man: NOT FOR ONE MINUTE THAT I THOUGHT MY LIFE 4 00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:18,800 WOULD END UP LIKE THIS. 5 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,033 OW! MY LEGS! 6 00:00:21,033 --> 00:00:23,767 Ashley: I'M SO FAR GONE. 7 00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:26,533 Woman I ABSOLUTELY NEED HELP, 8 00:00:26,533 --> 00:00:29,367 OR I AM GONNA DIE. 9 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,933 -I CAN'T DO THIS. -I'M RIGHT UNDER YOU. 10 00:00:35,933 --> 00:00:40,033 -[ Crying ] I NEED OVER! -YOU'RE FINE. YOU'RE FINE. 11 00:00:43,867 --> 00:00:45,800 Woman I FEEL LIKE I LET MY KIDS DOWN. 12 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,567 INSTEAD OF ME TAKING CARE OF THEM, 13 00:00:47,567 --> 00:00:49,267 THEY'VE BEEN TAKING CARE OF ME. 14 00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:52,533 IT'S YOU -- YOU ARE THE ONE KILLING HIM. 15 00:00:57,167 --> 00:00:58,933 Woman: DO I THINK SHE HAS THE MOTIVATION TO DO IT ON HER OWN? 16 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,300 I HAVE NO [BLEEP] IDEA. 17 00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:02,100 SHE NEVER PROVED TO ME SHE DID IT ON HER OWN. 18 00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:03,600 SHE JUST PROVED THAT SHE COULD DO IT WITH ME. 19 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,600 -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com 20 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,633 CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS 21 00:01:10,833 --> 00:01:12,400 Diana: TAKING A LEAP OF FAITH 22 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,733 INTO THE UNKNOWN SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE 23 00:01:15,733 --> 00:01:19,600 UNLESS YOU'RE WILLING TO REPLACE FEAR WITH HOPE. 24 00:01:34,467 --> 00:01:37,200 [ SIGHS ] 25 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:41,067 OH, GOSH. OH. 26 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:43,367 WHEN YOU'RE MORBIDLY OBESE, 27 00:01:43,367 --> 00:01:46,067 EVERYDAY LIFE, JUST GETTING THROUGH IT, 28 00:01:46,067 --> 00:01:49,467 IT IS MISERABLE. 29 00:01:49,467 --> 00:01:53,267 PAIN IS A CONSTANT VISITOR THROUGHOUT MY DAY. 30 00:01:53,267 --> 00:01:57,667 BUT MY LEGS ARE WHAT HURT THE WORST. 31 00:01:57,667 --> 00:02:01,667 I HAVE LYMPHEDEMA IN MY LEGS AND OPEN SORES. 32 00:02:01,667 --> 00:02:05,200 SO THAT IS JUST STABBING PAIN. 33 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,633 AND THEN THE REST OF THE TIME, IT'S A THROBBING PAIN. 34 00:02:08,633 --> 00:02:10,633 OH, MY GOSH. 35 00:02:10,633 --> 00:02:12,833 OH. OW. 36 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:15,633 JUST GETTING OUT OF BED IS PROBLEMATIC. 37 00:02:15,633 --> 00:02:17,333 I ABSOLUTELY DREAD IT. 38 00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:19,633 I SIT ON THE SIDE OF THE BED, 39 00:02:19,633 --> 00:02:22,133 WAITING TO GET THE COURAGE TO STAND UP 40 00:02:22,133 --> 00:02:23,800 'CAUSE I KNOW THE PAIN IS COMING. 41 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,067 OH. OH. 42 00:02:33,133 --> 00:02:37,067 SO I PAY A PRICE WITH EVERY SINGLE STEP I TAKE. 43 00:02:37,067 --> 00:02:38,667 [ GROANS ] 44 00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:43,233 THERE IS NO PAIN-FREE STEP EVER IN MY DAY. 45 00:02:43,233 --> 00:02:47,500 AND BY THE TIME I'M UP AND I MAKE IT TO THE SHOWER, 46 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:51,267 MY LEGS ARE IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN, 47 00:02:51,267 --> 00:02:53,667 AND I'M ALREADY OUT OF BREATH. 48 00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:58,267 ONE OF THE MOST DEVASTATING THINGS 49 00:02:58,267 --> 00:03:01,067 ABOUT MY WEIGHT GAIN IS THE FACT 50 00:03:01,067 --> 00:03:04,267 THAT I HAVE TO HAVE PEOPLE CARE FOR ME NOW. 51 00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:09,867 Diana: HEY, TRAC. HEY. 52 00:03:09,867 --> 00:03:11,533 CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THE SHOWER CURTAIN? 53 00:03:11,533 --> 00:03:13,200 SURE. 54 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:17,067 SO MY BEST FRIEND TRACY COMES OVER A FEW TIMES A WEEK 55 00:03:17,067 --> 00:03:19,067 TO HELP ME BATHE AND CLEAN UP THE HOUSE. 56 00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:20,367 OH. 57 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,733 IT'S HUMILIATING. 58 00:03:22,733 --> 00:03:24,067 BECAUSE I NEED HELP IN THE SHOWER, 59 00:03:24,067 --> 00:03:25,367 I CAN'T SHOWER EVERY DAY. 60 00:03:25,367 --> 00:03:29,567 I HAVE TO ONLY SHOWER THREE TIMES A WEEK. 61 00:03:29,567 --> 00:03:33,767 I WANT TO DO AS MUCH AS I CAN ON MY OWN. 62 00:03:33,767 --> 00:03:35,933 BUT IT'S VERY HARD FOR ME 63 00:03:35,933 --> 00:03:38,567 TO GET EVERYTHING NICE AND CLEAN. 64 00:03:38,567 --> 00:03:42,200 HEY, TRAC. 65 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,367 I'M GONNA LIFT MY SKIN UP. Tracy: OKAY. 66 00:03:44,367 --> 00:03:48,600 CAN YOU VERY, VERY SLOWLY WASH THE FLAB? 67 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,333 OKAY. 68 00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:52,233 LOWER. 69 00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,067 BECAUSE I'M SO BIG, 70 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:57,700 JUST DAILY ACTIVITIES THAT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO MYSELF, 71 00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:59,867 I'M NOT ABLE TO DO ANYMORE. 72 00:03:59,867 --> 00:04:04,400 I AM REQUIRING MORE AND MORE CARE FROM OTHERS. 73 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,200 GOSH. OH. 74 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,833 AND THAT SCARES ME. 75 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:13,933 OH, THIS IS NOT COUNTING. 76 00:04:13,933 --> 00:04:15,833 WHEN I GET DONE WITH MY SHOWER, 77 00:04:15,833 --> 00:04:17,900 I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM QUICKLY 78 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:21,367 SO I DON'T SEE MYSELF IN THE MIRROR. 79 00:04:21,367 --> 00:04:23,067 I'M JUST HORRIFIED BY WHAT I LOOK LIKE. 80 00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:24,833 COME ON. WE'RE WALKING. 81 00:04:24,833 --> 00:04:27,600 OKAY. 82 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:33,367 I DON'T LOOK LIKE A BODY SHAPE. IT'S JUST A BLOB OF FAT. 83 00:04:33,367 --> 00:04:36,367 I DON'T LOOK HUMAN. 84 00:04:36,367 --> 00:04:37,367 OH. 85 00:04:37,367 --> 00:04:39,100 [ MOANS ] 86 00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:41,067 I THINK I LOOK LIKE JABBA THE HUT. 87 00:04:45,467 --> 00:04:49,800 MY BODY IS JUST DETERIORATING. 88 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,767 I'M JUST GONNA DO THE WATER BLISTERS FIRST. 89 00:04:51,767 --> 00:04:52,867 OKAY. THEN I'LL DO... 90 00:04:52,867 --> 00:04:56,067 I HAVE A LOT OF WEIGHT-RELATED ILLNESSES. 91 00:04:56,067 --> 00:04:57,900 THE WORST ONE IS LYMPHEDEMA. 92 00:04:57,900 --> 00:05:00,100 MY LEGS ARE ALWAYS VERY SWOLLEN. 93 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,967 I HAVE OPEN WOUNDS A LOT. 94 00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:04,600 SO TRACY PUTS CREAMS AND OINTMENTS ON 95 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,700 TO MAKE SURE I DON'T GET RASHES. 96 00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:12,967 AND IF SHE DIDN'T, I CAN'T IMAGINE HOW BAD IT WOULD GET. 97 00:05:12,967 --> 00:05:19,267 I AM BEING CARED FOR LIKE AN INVALID BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT, 98 00:05:19,267 --> 00:05:21,800 AND THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS I AM AN INVALID 99 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,600 BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT. 100 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:30,467 AND THAT'S ALL BECAUSE I WON'T STOP EATING. 101 00:05:32,467 --> 00:05:36,233 WHEN I WAKE UP, THE FIRST THING I THINK ABOUT IS FOOD. 102 00:05:36,233 --> 00:05:40,067 BUT IN THE MORNING, I TRY NOT TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN. 103 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,700 SO I START BY EATING JUST A LITTLE. 104 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,333 BUT I KNOW BEFORE THE DAY IS HALF DONE, 105 00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:56,667 I'M GOING TO GIVE IN AGAIN AND JUST EAT EVERYTHING I CAN. 106 00:05:56,667 --> 00:05:58,400 WHEN I'M EATING SOMETHING, 107 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,733 IT'S NOT JUST THAT IT TASTES GOOD IN MY MOUTH. 108 00:06:00,733 --> 00:06:02,633 IT TASTES GOOD IN MY WHOLE BODY. 109 00:06:02,633 --> 00:06:03,900 MY WHOLE BODY'S INVOLVED 110 00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:06,400 IN THAT RUSH OF PLEASURE, IN CHOMPING. 111 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,467 OH. 112 00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:11,067 OUCH. 113 00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:14,467 I EAT WHEN I'M HAPPY, AND FOOD CELEBRATES WITH ME. 114 00:06:14,467 --> 00:06:16,867 AND I EAT WHEN I'M STRESSED. 115 00:06:16,867 --> 00:06:20,833 EVERY EMOTION IS TAKEN CARE OF BY FOOD. 116 00:06:24,667 --> 00:06:27,600 AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS... 117 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:34,433 MY INTERNAL DIALOGUE IS PRETTY NASTY TO MYSELF. 118 00:06:34,433 --> 00:06:37,867 I'M WORTHLESS. 119 00:06:37,867 --> 00:06:41,133 I AM A FREAK. 120 00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:43,600 I TELL MYSELF THAT I'M A TOTAL IDIOT 121 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,600 FOR ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME. 122 00:06:47,567 --> 00:06:49,700 SO NO MATTER WHAT, I CAN'T STOP 123 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:52,300 RELIVING THE SAME NIGHTMARE EVERY DAY. 124 00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:57,700 FOR THE MOST PART, 125 00:06:57,700 --> 00:07:02,267 I DON'T FEEL LIKE MY EARLY CHILDHOOD WAS THAT ABNORMAL. 126 00:07:02,267 --> 00:07:06,100 BUT AS I GOT OLDER, THINGS SEEMED TO GET MORE CHAOTIC. 127 00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:09,967 I COME FROM A BIG FAMILY. 128 00:07:09,967 --> 00:07:13,767 I HAVE THREE SISTERS AND A BROTHER. 129 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,267 AND MY MOM WAS SICK FOR A LONG TIME. 130 00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:19,633 MY SISTER JULIA HAD A CONGENITAL HEART PROBLEM, 131 00:07:19,633 --> 00:07:22,333 AND MY DAD LOST HIS JOB FOR A WHILE. 132 00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:25,067 SO THERE WAS ALWAYS A CRISIS. 133 00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:31,133 I THINK THE CHAOS IN MY FAMILY MADE ME FEEL REALLY INSECURE. 134 00:07:31,133 --> 00:07:35,533 I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE THERE WAS A SAFE HARBOR FOR ME. 135 00:07:35,533 --> 00:07:38,067 AND I LEARNED VERY YOUNG THAT I REALLY WAS 136 00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:39,567 THE ONLY PERSON I COULD DEPEND ON, 137 00:07:39,567 --> 00:07:43,967 AND AT TIMES, THAT WAS A VERY LONELY THING. 138 00:07:43,967 --> 00:07:48,800 AS A CHILD, DIANA WAS EXPECTED TO BE ALMOST NON-EXISTENT 139 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:52,100 BECAUSE MY PARENTS WERE INVOLVED WITH MY SISTER JULIA, 140 00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:53,633 WHO HAD A HEART PROBLEM. 141 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,133 Diana: I FELT WORTHLESS, AND I JUST WANTED SOMEBODY 142 00:07:59,133 --> 00:08:02,900 TO GIVE ME ATTENTION AND TREAT ME LIKE I EXISTED. 143 00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:08,867 AND ONE DAY WHEN I WAS 11, I WAS AT A SKATING RINK, 144 00:08:08,867 --> 00:08:11,200 AND TWO OLDER BOYS STARTED TALKING TO ME. 145 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,333 AND I WAS FLATTERED. 146 00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:18,733 BUT WHEN THEY GOT ME ALONE, THEY MOLESTED ME. 147 00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:20,533 AND I NEVER TOLD ANYONE 148 00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:23,400 BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT WAS SOMETHING I DID. 149 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,867 SO I PUSHED IT DOWN AND NEVER TALKED TO ANYONE 150 00:08:26,867 --> 00:08:29,967 BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE. 151 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:33,467 WHEN I THINK BACK ABOUT THE LITTLE GIRL THAT I WAS 152 00:08:33,467 --> 00:08:35,200 AND ALL SHE WENT THROUGH, 153 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,700 I WOULD WANT TO GO BACK AND PROTECT HER, 154 00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:40,167 AND THERE WAS JUST NOBODY THERE TO DO IT. 155 00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:41,333 [ SNIFFLES ] 156 00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:45,367 AND THAT LACK OF PROTECTION SET MY PATH 157 00:08:45,367 --> 00:08:47,667 FOR SUCH A VERY LONG TIME. 158 00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:52,333 ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS EAT. 159 00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:53,733 IT WAS SAFE. 160 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,867 IT WAS COMFORTING. 161 00:08:55,867 --> 00:09:01,100 BUT I DIDN'T BECAUSE I ALSO HAD A FEAR OF FOOD AT THE SAME TIME. 162 00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:03,567 AND I DID END UP WITH BODY ISSUES 163 00:09:03,567 --> 00:09:05,933 BECAUSE MY MOM WAS VERY THIN, 164 00:09:05,933 --> 00:09:09,267 AND ONE OF THE THINGS SHE WANTED US GIRLS TO AVOID 165 00:09:09,267 --> 00:09:13,367 WAS THE BURDEN OF BEING A HEAVY PERSON, OF BEING FAT. 166 00:09:13,367 --> 00:09:15,933 BUT THAT MESSAGE REALLY TWISTED WITH ME 167 00:09:15,933 --> 00:09:17,700 BECAUSE EVEN IN HIGH SCHOOL, 168 00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:22,833 WHEN I WAS 5'6" AND PROBABLY WEIGHED ABOUT 115 POUNDS, 169 00:09:22,833 --> 00:09:24,933 I WAS ENCOURAGED TO BE DIETING. 170 00:09:24,933 --> 00:09:28,167 AND I BELIEVED THAT I WAS HEAVY, 171 00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:31,100 AND I THINK THAT'S WHEN MY FOOD ADDICTION STARTED. 172 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:33,067 BUT I RESTRAINED MYSELF 173 00:09:33,067 --> 00:09:37,567 AND DIDN'T RUN TO THE ONE THING I WANTED. 174 00:09:37,567 --> 00:09:39,733 SO I DIDN'T GAIN WEIGHT, 175 00:09:39,733 --> 00:09:44,400 AND MY SIZE WASN'T A BIG ISSUE UNTIL I WAS IN MY 20s. 176 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:47,367 I HAD DECIDED TO ENLIST IN THE AIR FORCE, 177 00:09:47,367 --> 00:09:49,333 AND I WENT IN TO GET WEIGHED. 178 00:09:49,333 --> 00:09:52,267 AND I WAS 30 POUNDS HEAVIER 179 00:09:52,267 --> 00:09:55,833 THAN I WAS ALLOWED TO BE FOR MY HEIGHT. 180 00:09:55,833 --> 00:10:01,733 I THINK I WAS 178 POUNDS AT 5'6", 181 00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:05,633 SO I STARTED DIETING HEAVILY, THEN RUNNING A LOT. 182 00:10:05,633 --> 00:10:08,733 WEIGHT WAS WAR. 183 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,767 AND I WORKED MY ASS OFF TO BE SKINNY, 184 00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:14,600 BUT I WAS NEVER ABLE TO SUSTAIN THAT WEIGHT. 185 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,533 SO AT THAT POINT, I GAVE UP. 186 00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:19,467 I WANTED TO SERVE MY COUNTRY, 187 00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:21,333 AND THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS I SERVED IT WELL. 188 00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:24,667 BUT FAT DISQUALIFIED ME. 189 00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,467 AND I GOT AN HONORABLE DISCHARGE 190 00:10:26,467 --> 00:10:29,167 BUT DENIED REENLISTMENT BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT. 191 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:38,367 ALL THOSE YEARS, ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS EAT. 192 00:10:38,367 --> 00:10:41,400 I WANTED ALL THAT PAIN TO GO AWAY. 193 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,433 I FIGURED, WHY FIGHT IT ANYMORE? 194 00:10:44,433 --> 00:10:46,900 SO I JUST STARTED EATING. 195 00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:50,600 AND I GAINED WEIGHT FAST. 196 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:55,667 AND BY THE TIME I HIT 30, I WAS 200 POUNDS. 197 00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:58,200 AND I KEPT -- THE FIRST ONE, I WAS SO -- 198 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:02,867 BY THE TIME I WAS 40, I WEIGHED 340 POUNDS. 199 00:11:02,867 --> 00:11:04,300 BUT IT ALL GOT WORSE. 200 00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:06,133 WHEN I WAS 46, I MOVED TO SEATTLE 201 00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:09,100 FOR A JOB OPPORTUNITY WITH A HOMELESS SHELTER. 202 00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:10,967 THE CAREER CHANGE TO GO INTO THE SHELTER 203 00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:12,667 WAS A GOOD CHANGE FOR ME. 204 00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:13,933 REALLY FULFILLING. 205 00:11:13,933 --> 00:11:17,233 BUT I CONTINUED TO STRUGGLE WITH MY WEIGHT. 206 00:11:17,233 --> 00:11:19,067 OUTSIDE OF WORK, 207 00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:21,833 THERE WASN'T A LOT OF OTHER FRIENDS, 208 00:11:21,833 --> 00:11:25,433 SO FOOD WAS MY CONSTANT FRIEND. 209 00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:27,067 I ATE ALL THE TIME, 210 00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:30,867 AND WHEN I HIT 400 POUNDS, I COULDN'T DO MY JOB ANYMORE. 211 00:11:30,867 --> 00:11:33,400 AND I GOT LET GO. 212 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:37,667 AFTER I WAS FIRED, MY EATING WENT OUT OF CONTROL. 213 00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:39,167 I DIDN'T HAVE MY JOB. 214 00:11:39,167 --> 00:11:41,067 I DIDN'T HAVE DAILY INTERACTION WITH PEOPLE. 215 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,833 I WAS HOME-BOUND FOR A LONG TIME. 216 00:11:42,833 --> 00:11:45,500 THE ONLY CONSTANT I HAD WAS FOOD. 217 00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:47,500 DIANA'S WEIGHT HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN ISSUE 218 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,733 AS I'VE BEEN GROWING UP. 219 00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:52,300 SHE'S OVERWEIGHT BECAUSE SHE EATS FAR TOO MUCH. 220 00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:56,167 AND THERE'S NOTHING WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO DO TO SLOW IT DOWN. 221 00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:58,167 IT'S NOT JUST THAT SHE LIKES FOOD. 222 00:11:58,167 --> 00:12:00,900 IT'S NOT JUST THAT SHE WANTS FOOD. 223 00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:04,200 IT IS THE WAY IN WHICH SHE SELF-MEDICATES. 224 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,400 NO DIFFERENT THAN AN ALCOHOLIC. 225 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,667 Diana: SINCE I LOST MY JOB, 226 00:12:11,667 --> 00:12:14,467 ALL I'VE DONE IS EAT AND GAIN WEIGHT, 227 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:19,100 AND I WENT FROM 400 POUNDS TO 600 POUNDS. 228 00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:22,067 I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE THAT'S TRUE. 229 00:12:22,067 --> 00:12:24,300 BUT I JUST CAN'T STOP EATING. 230 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,533 I THINK ABOUT FOOD CONSTANTLY. 231 00:12:30,533 --> 00:12:32,133 IT IS ALWAYS ON MY MIND. 232 00:12:32,133 --> 00:12:35,567 EITHER I'M FULL OR I'M THINKING ABOUT EATING AGAIN, 233 00:12:35,567 --> 00:12:38,533 AND THAT'S PRETTY MUCH THE WAY IT GOES. 234 00:12:38,533 --> 00:12:41,800 I CAN'T PHYSICALLY GO OUT AND GET WHAT I WANT ANYMORE. 235 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,567 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] COME ON IN. 236 00:12:44,567 --> 00:12:46,333 I'M JUST TRYING TO GET THE LIST TOGETHER. 237 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,200 Megan: LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU NEED. 238 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:51,067 SO SOME OF MY FAMILY WILL BRING ME WHAT I WANT. 239 00:12:51,067 --> 00:12:53,367 OKAY, GREAT. 240 00:12:53,367 --> 00:12:55,633 SEE YOU IN A FEW. 241 00:12:55,633 --> 00:12:57,300 MY NIECE IS THE BIGGEST HELP 242 00:12:57,300 --> 00:13:01,200 BECAUSE SHE DOES ALL MY SHOPPING FOR ME. 243 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:05,300 I THINK AUNT DIANA IS IN DENIAL THAT HER DISEASE, 244 00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:08,700 HER ADDICTION, IS KILLING HER. 245 00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:11,967 I MOVED MY FAMILY HERE TO SEATTLE IN HOPES 246 00:13:11,967 --> 00:13:15,267 THAT WE COULD HELP HER CHANGE HER DIET AND LOSE WEIGHT. 247 00:13:15,267 --> 00:13:19,667 BUT ALL SHE EVER ASKS FOR IS JUNK FOOD. 248 00:13:19,667 --> 00:13:22,800 AND IF I DON'T GET IT FOR HER, SHE JUST GETS UPSET, 249 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,067 AND SHE'LL GET SOMEONE ELSE TO GET IT. 250 00:13:25,067 --> 00:13:27,933 SO I JUST GET HER THE JUNK FOOD. 251 00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:30,167 RIGHT NOW, I HAVE A GROCERY CART 252 00:13:30,167 --> 00:13:33,900 FULL OF WHAT I WOULD CONSIDER NOT REALLY FOOD. 253 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:39,067 IT'S A LOT OF FROZEN MEALS AND TONS OF SNACKS AND JUST JUNK. 254 00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:41,467 I THINK IT'S PRETTY DISGUSTING. 255 00:13:41,467 --> 00:13:45,267 WE HAVE TRIED TO HELP DIANA CHANGE HER EATING HABITS 256 00:13:45,267 --> 00:13:47,067 AND PROVIDE HER WITH BETTER FOOD, 257 00:13:47,067 --> 00:13:50,267 BUT SHE JUST DOESN'T WANT TO EAT THAT FOOD. 258 00:13:50,267 --> 00:13:56,067 SHE WANTS TO EAT UNHEALTHY, AND SHE WANTS TO EAT A LOT. 259 00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:58,933 AND SHE ALWAYS HAS EXCUSES FOR WHY SHE NEEDS IT. 260 00:13:58,933 --> 00:14:00,600 ** 261 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,100 HEY. Diana: HEY, SWEETHEART. 262 00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:04,600 BUT SHE'S TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT IT FROM US. 263 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,067 SO SHE HAS ME HIDE ALL HER JUNK FOOD IN THE OVEN 264 00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:09,233 SO ANYONE COMING OVER DOESN'T SEE IT 265 00:14:09,233 --> 00:14:13,233 AND GIVE HER A HARD TIME. 266 00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:16,067 SO I JUST DON'T FIGHT IT. 267 00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:17,100 OKAY. 268 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:19,067 IF THERE'S ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO, LET ME KNOW. 269 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,467 OKAY, SURE WILL. YEAH. 270 00:14:20,467 --> 00:14:22,067 TAKE CARE, SWEETHEART. I WILL. 271 00:14:22,067 --> 00:14:24,400 YOU, TOO. 272 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,967 Diana: I'M SO THANKFUL FOR MEGAN. 273 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:30,200 I'D PROBABLY STARVE WITHOUT HER. 274 00:14:31,233 --> 00:14:32,967 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 275 00:14:32,967 --> 00:14:34,200 COME ON IN. 276 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,367 WHO DO I HAVE THERE? SAY HI. 277 00:14:36,367 --> 00:14:37,467 COME HERE. GIVE ME A HUG. 278 00:14:37,467 --> 00:14:39,067 CAN YOU GO GIVE AUNT DI A HUG? 279 00:14:39,067 --> 00:14:41,133 HI, BABY. MEGAN AND HER FAMILY 280 00:14:41,133 --> 00:14:44,633 ARE THE ONLY REAL BRIGHT SPOT IN MY DAY. 281 00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:46,100 A LOT OF DAYS, SHE'LL BRING ME LUNCH 282 00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:48,500 AND BRING HER DAUGHTERS OVER SO I CAN SEE THEM. 283 00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:50,067 HERE YOU GO. ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU. 284 00:14:50,067 --> 00:14:51,367 I HOPE I GOT EVERYTHING RIGHT. 285 00:14:51,367 --> 00:14:53,700 YEAH. THANK YOU. 286 00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:56,067 MY GRANDNIECES ARE THE ONLY REASON 287 00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:57,500 I GET UP SOME DAYS. 288 00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:59,233 WOULD YOU MIND GETTING ME A PLATE, PLEASE? 289 00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:01,067 SURE. ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU. 290 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:04,133 KNOWING THAT THEY'RE COMING OVER AND I'LL GET TO SEE THEM 291 00:15:04,133 --> 00:15:07,567 IS ALL I HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO. 292 00:15:07,567 --> 00:15:09,633 BUT ONCE I SEE THE FOOD THEY BROUGHT, 293 00:15:09,633 --> 00:15:11,433 ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS EATING IT 294 00:15:11,433 --> 00:15:14,067 BEFORE I DO ANYTHING ELSE. 295 00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:15,400 THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART -- 296 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,833 THE LITTLE DESSERT PIE THAT COMES WITH IT. 297 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,200 MMM. 298 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:24,300 DIANA'S IN A VICIOUS CYCLE OF JUST SITTING AND EATING, 299 00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:28,200 AND SITTING AND WAITING AND EATING. 300 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,933 HEY, ANYA, I GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU TWO GIRLS. 301 00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:32,767 DO YOU GUYS WANT TO GO TO THE PARK TODAY? 302 00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:34,933 YEAH! I WANT TO GO TO THE PARK. 303 00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:37,400 OKAY. SO WHY DON'T WE DO THAT? 304 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,433 WHEN ADDY AND ANYA, MEGAN'S DAUGHTERS, 305 00:15:39,433 --> 00:15:41,600 COME TO THE HOUSE, I ENJOY IT, 306 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:45,333 AND IT'S SO MUCH LOVE AND ENERGY AND POSITIVENESS. 307 00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:48,300 OKAY. 308 00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:52,900 BUT I'M LIMITED IN WHAT I CAN DO WITH THEM. 309 00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:54,867 OKAY. 310 00:15:54,867 --> 00:15:56,433 OH! 311 00:15:57,767 --> 00:16:02,300 I ALWAYS TRY TO BE THAT FUN AUNT THAT THEY'RE EXCITED TO SEE. 312 00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:05,167 ** 313 00:16:05,167 --> 00:16:07,067 BUT THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH YOU CAN DO 314 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:10,233 WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN WALK. 315 00:16:10,233 --> 00:16:12,400 SO, COME ON OVER HERE. 316 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:13,933 BUT I'M SO BIG, 317 00:16:13,933 --> 00:16:17,900 ALL I CAN REALLY DO IS SIT AND WATCH THEM PLAY, 318 00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:20,167 AND IT'S SO HEARTBREAKING. 319 00:16:20,167 --> 00:16:21,733 Man: DO YOU WANT TO PICK AUNT DIANA SOME FLOWERS? 320 00:16:21,733 --> 00:16:23,667 HONESTLY, GUYS, I'M GETTING TIRED ALREADY. 321 00:16:23,667 --> 00:16:26,533 SO I'M GONNA NEED TO HEAD BACK. 322 00:16:26,533 --> 00:16:29,367 IT'S SO EXHAUSTING TO EVEN BE OUT IN MY WHEELCHAIR. 323 00:16:29,367 --> 00:16:31,067 YEAH. OKAY. 324 00:16:31,067 --> 00:16:37,267 BEFORE I'M EVEN OUT THAT LONG, I HAVE TO GO BACK. 325 00:16:37,267 --> 00:16:41,100 I LIVE IN THIS APARTMENT WITH VERY, VERY FEW OUTINGS. 326 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:44,067 [ SIGHS ] YOU'RE BACK! 327 00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:46,667 I LOVE YOU. 328 00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:48,667 GIVE ME KISS. 329 00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:50,900 LOVE YOU, BABY. 330 00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:52,467 WHEN THEY WALK OUT THE DOOR, 331 00:16:52,467 --> 00:16:55,167 I FEEL THE ISOLATION JUST SLAM BACK DOWN AGAIN. 332 00:16:55,167 --> 00:16:57,833 PART OF IT IS BECAUSE I HAVE SUCH JOY WHEN THEY COME HERE, 333 00:16:57,833 --> 00:17:00,900 AND THEN THEY LEAVE AND I'M BACK TO BEING VERY LONELY. 334 00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:02,733 AND THAT'S VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME. 335 00:17:02,733 --> 00:17:04,733 CAN YOU SAY BYE-BYE? BYE-BYE! 336 00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,233 BYE-BYE! I LOVE YOU! 337 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:08,733 SAY, "BYE, I LOVE YOU." BYE! 338 00:17:08,733 --> 00:17:09,967 [ SNIFFLES ] 339 00:17:09,967 --> 00:17:11,167 EVEN THOUGH I KNOW MY SISTER IS GONNA COME OVER 340 00:17:11,167 --> 00:17:12,767 AND HELP ME GET IN BED, 341 00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:15,900 I JUST FEEL SO ISOLATED AND ALONE. 342 00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:19,067 BECAUSE I AM LIVING MY LIFE IN A 400-FOOT, 343 00:17:19,067 --> 00:17:21,267 VERY SMALL APARTMENT. 344 00:17:24,067 --> 00:17:26,733 AND AFTER THE GIRLS LEAVE, OUTSIDE OF EATING, 345 00:17:26,733 --> 00:17:30,100 THERE'S NOTHING FOR ME TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN THE DAY. 346 00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:35,400 AND I'M SO EXHAUSTED, I JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP. 347 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,200 BUT I CAN'T EVEN DO THAT ON MY OWN. 348 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:41,967 SO MY SISTER COMES OVER TO HELP ME IN THE DAY. 349 00:17:41,967 --> 00:17:45,867 Mardi: I'M SHOCKED AND HURT AND SADDENED FOR DIANA, 350 00:17:45,867 --> 00:17:50,067 TO SEE HER IN THE SITUATION THAT SHE IS... 351 00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:51,767 OH. 352 00:17:51,767 --> 00:17:54,967 ...TO SEE HER AT A POINT OF OBESITY 353 00:17:54,967 --> 00:17:57,433 THAT IS ALMOST NOT SURVIVABLE. 354 00:17:57,433 --> 00:18:01,067 ** 355 00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:06,433 AND WHEN I SEE MY SISTER, IT JUST BREAKS MY HEART. 356 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:09,067 ** 357 00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:12,367 Diana: THIS IS A PATHETIC LIFE. 358 00:18:12,367 --> 00:18:14,467 NO ONE SHOULD LIVE LIKE THIS. 359 00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:18,167 OKAY. ONE, TWO... 360 00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:20,667 [ GRUNTS ] 361 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,533 THREE! 362 00:18:22,533 --> 00:18:23,900 OH. 363 00:18:25,433 --> 00:18:28,100 I KNOW I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT 364 00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:30,267 IF I DON'T TAKE DRASTIC ACTION. 365 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,200 AND AT THIS POINT, 366 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,133 I AM SCARED THAT I'M GONNA GO TO BED 367 00:18:37,133 --> 00:18:39,433 AND NOT WAKE UP THE NEXT DAY. 368 00:18:39,433 --> 00:18:42,800 ** 369 00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:48,467 ** 370 00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:07,833 Megan: YOU WANT TO HELP ME PACK? YEAH. 371 00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:09,233 THAT'LL BE A GOOD WAY YOU CAN HELP. 372 00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:11,767 COME AND PUT IT IN THE BOX. ONE AT A TIME. 373 00:19:11,767 --> 00:19:14,667 OH, GOOD JOB. 374 00:19:14,667 --> 00:19:17,833 TODAY, MY FAMILY HAS COME TO PACK ALL MY THINGS UP 375 00:19:17,833 --> 00:19:19,700 SO I CAN MOVE TO HOUSTON. 376 00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:25,333 MEGAN AND HER WHOLE FAMILY ARE MOVING DOWN WITH ME 377 00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:30,233 UNTIL I'M ABLE TO GET SURGERY AND START LOSING SOME WEIGHT. 378 00:19:30,233 --> 00:19:34,067 I KNOW THIS IS A HUGE SACRIFICE FOR THEM, 379 00:19:34,067 --> 00:19:37,500 AND I FEEL GUILTY THEY HAVE TO UPROOT THEIR WHOLE LIFE 380 00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:39,833 TO DO THIS FOR ME. 381 00:19:39,833 --> 00:19:42,200 BUT I KNOW THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE 382 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,433 TO GET THE HELP I NEED. 383 00:19:45,433 --> 00:19:48,633 TODAY, AS WE GET READY TO LEAVE, I'M JUST SCARED. 384 00:19:48,633 --> 00:19:51,433 ** 385 00:19:51,433 --> 00:19:55,867 I HAVE A LOT OF ANXIETY ABOUT TRAVELING. 386 00:19:55,867 --> 00:20:00,000 BEING ABLE TO GET IN AND OUT OF THE VAN IS A HUGE FEAR. 387 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,500 I HAVEN'T BEEN IN A PERSONAL VEHICLE IN THE LAST YEAR. 388 00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,433 HI. 389 00:20:05,433 --> 00:20:07,100 HELLO. 390 00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:09,400 ALL RIGHT. 391 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,900 OH, I GOT IT. OKAY. 392 00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:14,267 ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO. 393 00:20:14,267 --> 00:20:15,667 ALL RIGHT, YOU STABLE? YOU GOT IT? 394 00:20:15,667 --> 00:20:18,033 YEP, I GOT IT. NO PROBLEMS. 395 00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:19,967 IF I DON'T GET HELP, 396 00:20:19,967 --> 00:20:22,667 I KNOW THAT THIS APARTMENT IS WHERE I'M GOING TO DIE. 397 00:20:22,667 --> 00:20:23,933 [ GRUNTS ] 398 00:20:23,933 --> 00:20:25,767 HOW YOU DOING? I'M DOING OKAY. 399 00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:28,000 AND SO I'M TAKING A LEAP OF FAITH 400 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:32,633 AND MOVING TO HOUSTON TO SEE DR. NOWZARADAN. 401 00:20:32,633 --> 00:20:37,333 BUT THIS IS A HUGE EVENT FOR ME. 402 00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:38,833 I NEED TO LIFT MY NIGHTGOWN UP 403 00:20:38,833 --> 00:20:40,000 BECAUSE I'M GONNA BE USING THE BED PAN. 404 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,233 YEP. SORRY. 405 00:20:41,233 --> 00:20:43,067 SO I'M GONNA MOON EVERYBODY. OKAY. 406 00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:45,333 I'M COMING BACK, I'M COMING BACK. 407 00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:47,333 HOLD ON. I THINK I CAN GO A LITTLE BIT FURTHER. 408 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,867 ONE, TWO, THREE. 409 00:20:49,867 --> 00:20:51,333 GOOD. OH! 410 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:55,233 THERE ARE SO MANY RISKS FOR DIANA IN MOVING THIS FAR. 411 00:20:55,233 --> 00:20:56,833 SHE IS NOT IN GOOD HEALTH. 412 00:20:56,833 --> 00:20:58,867 SHE HAS BAD ASTHMA. 413 00:20:58,867 --> 00:21:01,233 SHE GETS A LOT OF SKIN INFECTIONS. 414 00:21:01,233 --> 00:21:03,967 AND BECAUSE OF THAT, I WORRY ABOUT HER. 415 00:21:03,967 --> 00:21:06,067 OKAY. OKAY. 416 00:21:06,067 --> 00:21:07,233 I'M GOOD. THANK YOU, GUYS. 417 00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:09,067 [ CHUCKLES ] YEAH. 418 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:13,067 DIANA DOESN'T HAVE ANY OTHER GOOD OPTIONS 419 00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:15,133 FOR HELP AT ALL. 420 00:21:15,133 --> 00:21:18,233 AND NOW WE ARE ALL HEADED DOWN TO HOUSTON. 421 00:21:18,233 --> 00:21:20,600 AND I HOPE THAT THIS TRIP IS A SIGN 422 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:24,933 THAT SHE WANTS SOMETHING BETTER FOR HERSELF. 423 00:21:24,933 --> 00:21:26,933 SO WE'RE GONNA HELP HER TRY. 424 00:21:26,933 --> 00:21:28,900 I'M ONLY GONNA SUPPORT WHAT IS GOOD FOR HER, 425 00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:32,067 AND IT IS GOING TO BE HARD. 426 00:21:32,067 --> 00:21:33,900 I DON'T LIKE MOVING, 427 00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:37,067 BUT SHE WILL BE DEAD IN A YEAR IF WE DON'T. 428 00:21:37,067 --> 00:21:40,733 ** 429 00:21:43,533 --> 00:21:45,267 Diana: THE FURTHEST I'VE TRAVELED 430 00:21:45,267 --> 00:21:47,400 IN THE LAST LITTLE WHILE WAS BY AMBULANCE, 431 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,467 AND IT WAS FIVE MILES. 432 00:21:49,467 --> 00:21:53,767 THE TRIP TO HOUSTON IS 1,900 MILES. 433 00:21:53,767 --> 00:21:55,933 I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS, 434 00:21:55,933 --> 00:21:59,667 AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I CAN MAKE THE JOURNEY. 435 00:21:59,667 --> 00:22:03,900 WE'VE HARDLY BEEN ON THE ROAD, AND I'M ALREADY IN SO MUCH PAIN. 436 00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:09,067 I AM NEEDING TO STOP. 437 00:22:09,067 --> 00:22:11,600 UM, I'VE GOT TO GET THIS BED ADJUSTED. 438 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:15,633 I'M SLIDING OFF THE END OF IT. 439 00:22:15,633 --> 00:22:18,300 I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THIS. 440 00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:23,733 OKAY, I NEED YOU TO LIFT MY LEG BACK UP. 441 00:22:23,733 --> 00:22:26,067 ALL MY WEIGHT IS GOING INTO THIS HIP. 442 00:22:29,167 --> 00:22:31,933 NO, I CAN'T -- I CAN'T GET OVER. 443 00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:32,933 [ GRUNTS ] 444 00:22:32,933 --> 00:22:34,967 ALL RIGHT, COME BACK. SEE? 445 00:22:34,967 --> 00:22:36,500 THIS HELPS. 446 00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:37,867 [ SIGHS ] 447 00:22:37,867 --> 00:22:41,500 I NEED YOU TO GET ME HOOKED UP WITH THE CPAP. 448 00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:43,167 OKAY. 449 00:22:43,167 --> 00:22:45,700 ALL RIGHT. 450 00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:48,667 [ WHIMPERS ] 451 00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:51,667 OKAY. 452 00:22:51,667 --> 00:22:54,733 ** 453 00:22:58,867 --> 00:23:03,400 [ COUGHING ] 454 00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:07,700 IT'S ALL CONSTANT PAIN. 455 00:23:07,700 --> 00:23:09,200 I'M USED TO CONSTANT PAIN, 456 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,833 BUT THIS IS RATCHETING UP MY PAIN. 457 00:23:11,833 --> 00:23:13,633 [ COUGHS ] 458 00:23:13,633 --> 00:23:16,067 I HAD NO IDEA THIS WOULD BE THIS HARD ON ME. 459 00:23:16,067 --> 00:23:17,333 Mardi: NEITHER DID I. 460 00:23:17,333 --> 00:23:19,067 AND I DON'T KNOW THAT I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO GET OUT 461 00:23:19,067 --> 00:23:20,900 AND GET INTO A HOTEL ROOM, MARDI. 462 00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:23,600 I KNOW. 463 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,900 ** 464 00:23:31,467 --> 00:23:34,100 OKAY, SO WHAT'S THE PLAN FOR ME? 465 00:23:34,100 --> 00:23:36,167 WELL, THAT'S UP TO YOU. 466 00:23:36,167 --> 00:23:37,867 DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE STRONG ENOUGH TO GET OUT OF THE CAR? 467 00:23:37,867 --> 00:23:40,400 UH, LET ME SEE HOW WE CAN DO THIS. 468 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,633 ONE, TWO, THREE. 469 00:23:42,633 --> 00:23:45,400 OH. YEAH. 470 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,133 MY LEGS ARE LOCKED ALREADY. 471 00:23:47,133 --> 00:23:50,067 OH. 472 00:23:50,067 --> 00:23:52,533 WANT US TO PULL YOU UP? 473 00:23:52,533 --> 00:23:54,833 NO, UH, LET ME THINK THIS THROUGH. 474 00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:56,733 OKAY. 475 00:23:56,733 --> 00:23:58,833 I DON'T THINK I CAN GET OUT, AND IF I DO, 476 00:23:58,833 --> 00:24:01,333 I DON'T SEE HOW WE'RE GONNA GET ME BACK IN. 477 00:24:01,333 --> 00:24:04,733 I THINK I'LL JUST SLEEP OUT HERE. 478 00:24:04,733 --> 00:24:06,100 I'M STUCK IN THE VAN, 479 00:24:06,100 --> 00:24:09,233 AND THERE'S NO WAY I CAN GET OUT TONIGHT. 480 00:24:09,233 --> 00:24:12,100 AND I CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT MY CPAP. 481 00:24:12,100 --> 00:24:14,567 SO THE RISK WITHOUT MY CPAP 482 00:24:14,567 --> 00:24:16,067 IS I COULD QUIT BREATHING AT NIGHT, 483 00:24:16,067 --> 00:24:18,167 MY AIRWAY WILL CLOSE. 484 00:24:18,167 --> 00:24:20,300 SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 485 00:24:20,300 --> 00:24:22,600 I NEED TO GRAB SOME STUFF FROM THE CAR, 486 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,600 AND I WILL SEND PAUL BACK DOWN. 487 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:25,600 ALL RIGHT. 488 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:26,933 I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. 489 00:24:26,933 --> 00:24:28,933 OKAY. I KNEW THIS TRIP WOULD BE HARD, 490 00:24:28,933 --> 00:24:33,433 BUT THIS HAS TURNED INTO A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH. 491 00:24:33,433 --> 00:24:35,433 ** 492 00:24:38,100 --> 00:24:41,333 ** 493 00:24:48,433 --> 00:24:52,067 I'M SO SORRY. Paul: IT'S OKAY. 494 00:24:52,067 --> 00:24:53,967 Diana: WE'VE BEEN DRIVING ALL DAY, 495 00:24:53,967 --> 00:24:56,600 AND WE HAD TO STOP FOR THE NIGHT. 496 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,733 BUT I'M STUCK IN THE PARKING LOT 497 00:24:58,733 --> 00:25:02,333 BECAUSE I'M TOO BIG TO GET OUT OF THE VAN WITHOUT HELP. 498 00:25:02,333 --> 00:25:05,467 AND I HAVE TO HAVE MY CPAP TO SLEEP AT NIGHT, 499 00:25:05,467 --> 00:25:07,533 OR I'LL STOP BREATHING. 500 00:25:07,533 --> 00:25:11,133 BUT LUCKILY, PAUL HAS COME UP WITH A SOLUTION. 501 00:25:11,133 --> 00:25:13,900 WE HAD TO ACTUALLY FASHION A WAY 502 00:25:13,900 --> 00:25:19,300 TO PLUG THE CPAP INTO AN OUTLET OF THE HOTEL, 503 00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:21,800 RUNNING IT THROUGH THE WINDOW, TAPING IT 504 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:23,767 SO THAT I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO BREATHE TONIGHT. 505 00:25:23,767 --> 00:25:25,133 OH. 506 00:25:25,133 --> 00:25:30,233 IT'S VERY COMPLICATED FOR ME TO BE OUTSIDE LIKE THIS. 507 00:25:30,233 --> 00:25:32,900 THIS IS SO HUMILIATING. 508 00:25:32,900 --> 00:25:35,900 BUT RIGHT NOW, I JUST NEED TO MAKE IT TO DR. NOW 509 00:25:35,900 --> 00:25:37,500 TO TRY TO GET SOME HELP. 510 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,233 ** 511 00:25:44,700 --> 00:25:47,967 LAST NIGHT WAS MISERABLE. 512 00:25:47,967 --> 00:25:49,633 WE'RE ALMOST THERE. ALL RIGHT. 513 00:25:49,633 --> 00:25:53,167 YEAH. GETTING ON THE ROAD NOW. 514 00:25:53,167 --> 00:25:58,067 AND I'M JUST GLAD IT'S OVER AND THAT WE'RE BACK ON THE ROAD. 515 00:25:58,067 --> 00:26:03,500 WE STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO, AND I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN. 516 00:26:03,500 --> 00:26:07,300 BUT THERE'S NO WAY I CAN SPEND THE NIGHT IN THIS VAN AGAIN. 517 00:26:07,300 --> 00:26:10,733 I DON'T THINK I'LL SURVIVE IT. 518 00:26:10,733 --> 00:26:13,533 SO ONCE WE FIGURE OUT WHERE WE'RE STAYING TONIGHT, 519 00:26:13,533 --> 00:26:18,867 MARDI'S GONNA CALL E.M.S. TO GET ME OUT OF THIS VAN. 520 00:26:18,867 --> 00:26:22,433 I'VE BEEN MISERABLE FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT, 521 00:26:22,433 --> 00:26:26,200 AND I CANNOT WAIT TO GET INTO A BED. 522 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,133 BUT IT'S EMBARRASSING 523 00:26:28,133 --> 00:26:33,367 THAT I'M SO BIG, I CAN'T EVEN GET OUT OF A VEHICLE BY MYSELF. 524 00:26:33,367 --> 00:26:36,067 OKAY. LOOKS LIKE WE'RE HERE. 525 00:26:36,067 --> 00:26:40,333 ** 526 00:26:42,833 --> 00:26:45,200 MY SISTER -- SHE IS AN INVALID, 527 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:49,333 AND WE NEED A NON-URGENCE ASSISTANCE FROM E.M.S. 528 00:26:49,333 --> 00:26:51,667 TO CARRY HER INTO HER ROOM. 529 00:26:51,667 --> 00:26:53,067 Diana: A MAJOR EFFECT OF MY WEIGHT 530 00:26:53,067 --> 00:26:55,200 THAT I DIDN'T REALLY THINK ABOUT 531 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,600 UNTIL I WAS ON THIS ROAD TRIP IS MY INABILITY 532 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:01,367 TO GET IN AND OUT OF THE VAN, MUCH LESS THE HOTEL. 533 00:27:01,367 --> 00:27:04,833 ONE, TWO, THREE. 534 00:27:04,833 --> 00:27:08,067 OKAY. 535 00:27:08,067 --> 00:27:12,867 I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW BASICALLY HANDICAPPED I AM. 536 00:27:12,867 --> 00:27:15,133 WATCH YOUR ELBOW, MA'AM, ON YOUR RIGHT ELBOW. 537 00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:18,300 SO IT REALLY JUST HAS BROUGHT HOME IN A REALLY TOUGH WAY 538 00:27:18,300 --> 00:27:19,933 HOW DESPERATELY I NEED HELP. 539 00:27:19,933 --> 00:27:22,400 ONE, TWO, THREE. 540 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:23,433 OOH! 541 00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:25,300 OOH, SOMETHING'S ON MY LEG! NO. 542 00:27:25,300 --> 00:27:28,467 OH, I'M SORRY. IT'S NOT -- YOU'RE FINE. 543 00:27:28,467 --> 00:27:32,400 IT'S EMBARRASSING THIS IS WHAT IT TAKES JUST TO MOVE ME. 544 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:33,767 YOU ALL RIGHT? I'M IN THE BED. 545 00:27:33,767 --> 00:27:35,533 I'M GREAT. THANK YOU. APPRECIATE IT. 546 00:27:35,533 --> 00:27:37,067 NO PROBLEM. SEE YOU TOMORROW MORNING, OKAY? 547 00:27:37,067 --> 00:27:38,533 SEE YOU IN THE MORNING. YEAH. 548 00:27:38,533 --> 00:27:41,267 Diana: IF I'D KNOWN IT WAS GONNA BE THIS HARD TO DO, 549 00:27:41,267 --> 00:27:44,833 I'M NOT SURE I WOULD'VE MADE THE DECISION TO GO TO HOUSTON. 550 00:27:44,833 --> 00:27:48,067 ** 551 00:27:53,933 --> 00:27:56,433 I'VE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR FIVE DAYS NOW, 552 00:27:56,433 --> 00:27:59,100 AND I'M JUST MISERABLE. 553 00:27:59,100 --> 00:28:01,667 ** 554 00:28:01,667 --> 00:28:06,967 I REGRET LEAVING. AND I REGRET DOING THIS. 555 00:28:06,967 --> 00:28:09,767 THE ONLY THING THAT GIVES ME PEACE RIGHT NOW 556 00:28:09,767 --> 00:28:11,100 IS EATING SOMETHING. 557 00:28:11,100 --> 00:28:12,833 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE, DEAR ONE? 558 00:28:12,833 --> 00:28:15,267 OKAY, I WANT THE COMBO WITH BACON. 559 00:28:15,267 --> 00:28:20,700 I WANT ONION RINGS AND -- OH, AND I WANT A MILKSHAKE. 560 00:28:20,700 --> 00:28:22,933 EATING ON THE ROAD IS KIND OF TRICKY FOR ME. 561 00:28:22,933 --> 00:28:27,333 THIS IS SOME OF THE LAST TIMES THAT I GET TO ENJOY SOME FOODS 562 00:28:27,333 --> 00:28:28,933 THAT PROBABLY AREN'T AS HEALTHY. 563 00:28:28,933 --> 00:28:30,067 HERE YOU GO. 564 00:28:30,067 --> 00:28:31,633 THANK YOU SO MUCH, MA'AM. THANK YOU. 565 00:28:31,633 --> 00:28:32,633 HAVE A GOOD DAY. YOU, TOO. 566 00:28:32,633 --> 00:28:35,667 ** 567 00:28:37,333 --> 00:28:40,567 THAT BURGER IS EXACTLY WHAT I'VE BEEN NEEDING. 568 00:28:40,567 --> 00:28:43,900 YUM. 569 00:28:43,900 --> 00:28:47,133 I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP THE FOOD I LIKE, 570 00:28:47,133 --> 00:28:50,900 AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I WILL, BUT I'M WILLING TO TRY. 571 00:28:50,900 --> 00:28:53,633 ** 572 00:28:59,067 --> 00:29:00,600 WE'RE FINALLY HERE, 573 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,133 AND I'M HAPPY THIS DRIVE IS OVER. 574 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:11,367 BUT AS WE GET CLOSER, I'M ALSO GETTING A LITTLE SCARED. 575 00:29:11,367 --> 00:29:15,300 WHAT IF I CAN'T DO THIS AND THE DOCTOR CAN'T HELP ME? 576 00:29:15,300 --> 00:29:16,933 ** 577 00:29:16,933 --> 00:29:17,933 ALL RIGHT. 578 00:29:17,933 --> 00:29:20,533 ONE FOR THE MONEY, TWO FOR THE SHOW, 579 00:29:20,533 --> 00:29:23,100 THREE TO GET READY, FOUR TO GO. 580 00:29:23,100 --> 00:29:24,600 OH, I DIDN'T MAKE IT. HOLD ON. 581 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:25,867 OH. THANK YOU. HERE WE GO. 582 00:29:25,867 --> 00:29:27,100 ALL RIGHT. 583 00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:29,200 SORRY. I'M JUST SO TIRED FROM THE TRIP. 584 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,733 YEAH, RIGHT...NOW. 585 00:29:31,733 --> 00:29:35,433 OKAY. [ GROANS ] OKAY? 586 00:29:35,433 --> 00:29:38,733 WE'RE STAYING AT A HOTEL AGAIN BECAUSE MEGAN AND PAUL 587 00:29:38,733 --> 00:29:42,567 HAVE TO GO SET UP THE HOUSE WE'RE RENTING. 588 00:29:42,567 --> 00:29:44,067 I OWE IT TO MY FAMILY 589 00:29:44,067 --> 00:29:46,867 TO TRY AND DO THIS, TO FIND A WAY, 590 00:29:46,867 --> 00:29:50,400 BECAUSE THEY HAVE UPROOTED THEIR WHOLE LIVES FOR ME. 591 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,667 OH. OKAY. 592 00:29:52,667 --> 00:29:55,500 AND AS HARD AS IT WAS FOR ME TO DO THIS, 593 00:29:55,500 --> 00:29:58,667 I KNOW IT WAS REALLY HARD FOR THEM, TOO. 594 00:29:58,667 --> 00:30:00,567 HOW YOU DOING, SWEETHEART? I'M DOING WELL. 595 00:30:00,567 --> 00:30:01,833 THANK YOU. YEAH? 596 00:30:01,833 --> 00:30:03,233 YES. GLAD TO BE...? 597 00:30:03,233 --> 00:30:05,667 YEAH. 598 00:30:05,667 --> 00:30:07,233 I FEEL LIKE ON THE ROAD, 599 00:30:07,233 --> 00:30:09,967 DIANA WAS FAR NEEDIER THAN MY KIDS. 600 00:30:09,967 --> 00:30:15,333 WHICH, I MEAN, MY CHILDREN ARE JUST BARELY TWO AND THREE. 601 00:30:15,333 --> 00:30:17,167 SO THE NEXT MONTH OR TWO 602 00:30:17,167 --> 00:30:19,333 IS GONNA BE VERY TELLING -- VERY TELLING. 603 00:30:19,333 --> 00:30:21,433 SO, YOU GUYS PRETTY WORN OUT? 604 00:30:21,433 --> 00:30:26,233 IT'S EMOTIONALLY BEEN... KIND OF TAXING 605 00:30:26,233 --> 00:30:28,233 TO JUST FINALLY BE HERE AND BE DONE 606 00:30:28,233 --> 00:30:30,667 AND BE STARTING THE NEXT PIECE, YOU KNOW? 607 00:30:30,667 --> 00:30:32,600 YEAH. NOW WE HAVE OTHER WORK. 608 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,900 RIGHT NOW, I KNOW WE HAVE A NEW CHAPTER TO OPEN, 609 00:30:34,900 --> 00:30:37,900 BUT WE'RE AT THE END OF CHAPTER ONE, AND... 610 00:30:37,900 --> 00:30:38,900 TAKE A DEEP BREATH? Diana: YEAH. 611 00:30:38,900 --> 00:30:40,400 AND CELEBRATE IT. 612 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,067 Megan: I'M EXCITED. 613 00:30:42,067 --> 00:30:43,833 I'M VERY RELIEVED TO BE HERE. 614 00:30:43,833 --> 00:30:47,200 BUT I THINK THAT I DON'T SEE HER INVESTING. 615 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:48,800 SHE SAYS THINGS LIKE, 616 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,433 "WELL, I DON'T REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE DIFFICULT THINGS. 617 00:30:51,433 --> 00:30:52,933 I JUST WANT TO ENJOY RIGHT NOW." 618 00:30:52,933 --> 00:30:54,933 WHICH, TO ME, IS THE ADDICT IN HER SPEAKING. 619 00:30:54,933 --> 00:30:56,133 GOODNIGHT, SWEETHEART. GOODNIGHT. 620 00:30:56,133 --> 00:30:57,900 LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU. 621 00:30:57,900 --> 00:30:59,733 SHE IS STILL HAPPY RIGHT NOW 622 00:30:59,733 --> 00:31:01,633 BECAUSE SHE GETS TO LIVE IN HER ADDICTION. 623 00:31:01,633 --> 00:31:03,267 SHE GETS TO LIVE IN HER BLISS. 624 00:31:03,267 --> 00:31:04,500 HI. 625 00:31:04,500 --> 00:31:06,467 YEAH, I'D LIKE TO PLACE AN ORDER FOR DELIVERY. 626 00:31:06,467 --> 00:31:08,133 SHE HAS WHAT SHE WANTS. 627 00:31:08,133 --> 00:31:09,500 SHE HAS ALL THE ATTENTION 628 00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:11,900 FROM ALL THESE WONDERFUL PEOPLE INVOLVED. 629 00:31:11,900 --> 00:31:14,567 Paul: ALL RIGHT, I GOT SOME -- SOME PIZZA AFTER THIS LONG DAY. 630 00:31:14,567 --> 00:31:15,933 YES. 631 00:31:15,933 --> 00:31:17,833 BUT SHE HASN'T HAD TO GIVE UP WHAT SHE LOVES YET. 632 00:31:17,833 --> 00:31:19,300 ALL RIGHT. YEAH, THAT'LL WORK. PERFECT. 633 00:31:19,300 --> 00:31:21,167 COOL. ALL RIGHT. 634 00:31:21,167 --> 00:31:24,067 THANK YOU. LOVE YOU, P. DOG. 635 00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:28,400 ** 636 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,600 SHE REALLY NEEDS TO HUMBLE HERSELF 637 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,400 AND COME TO GRIPS WITH THIS FACT 638 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:36,100 THAT SHE IS THE ONE ATTACKING AND KILLING HERSELF 639 00:31:36,100 --> 00:31:37,400 AND IF SHE DOESN'T STOP 640 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,367 OR IF SHE DOESN'T ACCEPT HELP TO STOP, 641 00:31:39,367 --> 00:31:41,667 SHE'S JUST GOING TO DIE. 642 00:31:43,300 --> 00:31:46,200 ** 643 00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,300 HELLO. HELLO. 644 00:31:48,300 --> 00:31:49,767 HI. HOW Y'ALL DOING? 645 00:31:49,767 --> 00:31:51,433 DOING GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? 646 00:31:51,433 --> 00:31:55,233 Diana: TODAY, I'M FINALLY GOING TO SEE DR. NOWZARADAN. 647 00:31:55,233 --> 00:32:00,067 AND I'M A LITTLE OVERWHELMED RIGHT NOW. 648 00:32:00,067 --> 00:32:01,067 OH. 649 00:32:01,067 --> 00:32:03,667 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. 650 00:32:03,667 --> 00:32:06,067 AND THAT'S SCARY. 651 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:11,200 I'VE BEEN IN A PATTERN OF EATING FOR A LONG TIME, 652 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,467 AND THAT PATTERN HAS SERVED TO MEET MY NEEDS 653 00:32:13,467 --> 00:32:15,233 IN A LOT OF WAYS. 654 00:32:15,233 --> 00:32:19,700 AND NOW TO SAVE MY LIFE, I HAVE TO CHANGE THAT. 655 00:32:19,700 --> 00:32:23,533 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S GONNA TAKE FOR ME TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN. 656 00:32:23,533 --> 00:32:25,233 ** 657 00:32:25,233 --> 00:32:27,233 AND THAT'S SCARY. 658 00:32:27,233 --> 00:32:29,567 THAT'S REALLY SCARY. 659 00:32:31,067 --> 00:32:35,067 DON'T PUT ME TOO LOW, OR I WON'T BE ABLE TO GET OFF. 660 00:32:35,067 --> 00:32:38,900 THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BECOMES REAL. 661 00:32:38,900 --> 00:32:41,267 BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WEIGH. 662 00:32:41,267 --> 00:32:45,067 AND THAT'S SCARY TO FACE, TOO. 663 00:32:45,067 --> 00:32:47,300 OKAY. TWO. ALL RIGHT. 664 00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:49,700 OH. OKAY. LET GO. 665 00:32:49,700 --> 00:32:51,300 OKAY. EVERYBODY GO. 666 00:32:51,300 --> 00:32:55,133 AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW HIGH THAT NUMBER'S GONNA BE. 667 00:32:57,567 --> 00:32:59,267 OH, MY GOSH. 668 00:32:59,267 --> 00:33:01,833 IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. 669 00:33:01,833 --> 00:33:04,433 JUST UNBELIEVABLE. 670 00:33:04,433 --> 00:33:06,067 OH, YEAH. 671 00:33:06,067 --> 00:33:08,533 I'M SHOCKED RIGHT NOW. 672 00:33:08,533 --> 00:33:09,767 ALL RIGHT. 673 00:33:09,767 --> 00:33:12,667 I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW BAD I'VE LET MYSELF GET. 674 00:33:12,667 --> 00:33:14,400 OKAY. 675 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,067 THIS IS THE HIGHEST I'VE WEIGHED BEFORE 676 00:33:17,067 --> 00:33:20,767 AND HIGHER THAN I EVER THOUGHT I WOULD WEIGH. 677 00:33:20,767 --> 00:33:22,133 FOUR TO GO. OW. 678 00:33:22,133 --> 00:33:25,833 IT'S HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE I'VE LET MYSELF DO THIS. 679 00:33:25,833 --> 00:33:28,067 IT'S JUST... OW. 680 00:33:28,067 --> 00:33:30,767 ...A BIT OVERWHELMING RIGHT NOW. 681 00:33:30,767 --> 00:33:32,133 [ SIGHS ] 682 00:33:32,133 --> 00:33:33,933 AT THIS POINT, YOU KNOW, DR. NOWZARADAN 683 00:33:33,933 --> 00:33:36,400 IS KIND OF LIFE AND DEATH FOR ME. 684 00:33:38,767 --> 00:33:41,733 YEAH. 685 00:33:43,333 --> 00:33:45,067 YEAH. THANKS, SWEETHEART. 686 00:33:45,067 --> 00:33:46,767 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 687 00:33:46,767 --> 00:33:48,767 HELLO. 688 00:33:48,767 --> 00:33:50,067 HELLO. 689 00:33:50,067 --> 00:33:52,333 HOW Y'ALL DOING? DOING REALLY WELL. 690 00:33:52,333 --> 00:33:53,900 ALL RIGHT, SO I TALKED TO YOU 691 00:33:53,900 --> 00:33:56,467 BEFORE YOU MADE THE TRIP TO HOUSTON, HUH? 692 00:33:56,467 --> 00:33:58,400 YES. IT WAS A VERY DIFFICULT TRIP. 693 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,333 WE DROVE FOR FIVE DAYS, SO... 694 00:34:00,333 --> 00:34:01,333 YEAH. 695 00:34:01,333 --> 00:34:03,333 FIVE DAYS TO GET DOWN TO HOUSTON. 696 00:34:03,333 --> 00:34:04,367 YES. MM-HMM. 697 00:34:04,367 --> 00:34:05,500 IT WAS ROUGH. ALL RIGHT. 698 00:34:05,500 --> 00:34:08,467 SO TODAY, YOU'RE 601 POUNDS. 699 00:34:08,467 --> 00:34:09,833 YES. ALL RIGHT. 700 00:34:09,833 --> 00:34:11,667 SO WHAT IS YOUR ABILITY NOW 701 00:34:11,667 --> 00:34:13,700 TO BE ABLE TO GET UP AND WALK? 702 00:34:13,700 --> 00:34:16,067 I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF DISTANCE IN WALKING, 703 00:34:16,067 --> 00:34:17,867 BECAUSE MY KNEES ARE SO BAD, 704 00:34:17,867 --> 00:34:20,967 TO TRY AND PUT SOME OF MY WEIGHT INTO THE WALKER. 705 00:34:20,967 --> 00:34:23,533 AND SO IN THE SPAN OF A DAY, 706 00:34:23,533 --> 00:34:25,633 HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU GET UP AND WALK? 707 00:34:25,633 --> 00:34:27,300 WELL, EVERY TIME I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM. 708 00:34:27,300 --> 00:34:29,967 SO FOUR OR FIVE. 709 00:34:29,967 --> 00:34:33,200 SO YOU DON'T MOVE MUCH, REALLY, HUH? 710 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:34,333 I HAVEN'T BEEN, NO. 711 00:34:34,333 --> 00:34:36,933 WHO BRINGS YOU FOOD NOW? MEGAN. 712 00:34:36,933 --> 00:34:39,700 SO YOU GET THE HIGH-CALORIE FOOD 713 00:34:39,700 --> 00:34:42,267 AND YOU EAT. RIGHT. 714 00:34:42,267 --> 00:34:43,733 AND SO THAT WAS THE KEY REASON 715 00:34:43,733 --> 00:34:45,433 I'M GONNA BE MOVING INTO MEGAN'S HOUSE 716 00:34:45,433 --> 00:34:47,367 WITH SHE AND HER HUSBAND BECAUSE IT'LL BE HELPFUL 717 00:34:47,367 --> 00:34:48,533 THAT THERE'S SOMEBODY THERE 718 00:34:48,533 --> 00:34:50,267 KIND OF FOR SUPPORT AND ACCOUNTABILITY. 719 00:34:50,267 --> 00:34:52,433 IF SHE'S BEEN YOUR ENABLER, 720 00:34:52,433 --> 00:34:54,200 WHY DO YOU THINK LIVING WITH HER 721 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:55,733 IS GONNA CHANGE THAT? 722 00:34:55,733 --> 00:34:59,200 THERE'S NO WAY TO SNEAK EAT WHEN YOU'RE LIVING WITH PEOPLE. 723 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,767 Dr. Nowzaradan: DIANA CLEARLY LIKES TO BE IN CONTROL, 724 00:35:01,767 --> 00:35:04,600 AND THAT'S WHAT I'M HEARING RIGHT NOW. 725 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,600 SHE HAS IDEAS AND PLANS 726 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,733 ON HOW SHE'S GOING TO FIX HER SITUATION. 727 00:35:09,733 --> 00:35:11,733 BUT THE REALITY IS THAT 728 00:35:11,733 --> 00:35:14,700 SHE'S STILL GOING TO LEAVE WITH HER ENABLERS, 729 00:35:14,700 --> 00:35:18,267 AND SHE'S STILL GOING TO BE ABLE TO MANIPULATE THEM. 730 00:35:18,267 --> 00:35:22,700 SO THIS IS GOING TO BE A DIFFICULT BEHAVIOR TO CHANGE. 731 00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:26,100 OKAY, SO WHAT SHE EATS WILL BE UP TO YOU. 732 00:35:26,100 --> 00:35:28,133 YOU'RE IN CONTROL RIGHT NOW. 733 00:35:28,133 --> 00:35:31,433 SHE CANNOT BE ANY LONGER. 734 00:35:31,433 --> 00:35:34,900 YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND AT YOUR AGE AND YOUR WEIGHT, 735 00:35:34,900 --> 00:35:38,400 IT IS A MIRACLE THAT YOU'RE ALIVE RIGHT NOW. 736 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,100 YOU'RE 55. 737 00:35:40,100 --> 00:35:42,867 THE LIKELIHOOD THAT YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT TO 60 738 00:35:42,867 --> 00:35:46,067 ARE NOT VERY GOOD, OKAY? 739 00:35:46,067 --> 00:35:50,833 DIANA HAS EATEN HERSELF TO ALMOST BECOME NON-FUNCTIONAL. 740 00:35:50,833 --> 00:35:54,200 SHE'S NOT TOO FAR AWAY FROM BEING TOTALLY BEDRIDDEN, 741 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:57,533 AND IF IS BEDRIDDEN, I DON'T THINK SHE'S GONNA MAKE IT. 742 00:35:57,533 --> 00:36:00,733 SO, AT THIS POINT, YOU'RE NOT A CANDIDATE FOR SURGERY, 743 00:36:00,733 --> 00:36:04,333 BUT I WANT TO GO AHEAD AND MAKE SOME CHANGES 744 00:36:04,333 --> 00:36:07,300 AND EAT ONLY A HIGH-PROTEIN DIET. 745 00:36:07,300 --> 00:36:09,367 OKAY. I WANT GONE THE CARBOHYDRATES, 746 00:36:09,367 --> 00:36:12,467 AND STICK WITH A 1,200-CALORIE DIET A DAY. 747 00:36:12,467 --> 00:36:13,767 WOW. OKAY. 748 00:36:13,767 --> 00:36:17,333 SO THE TYPE OF FOOD THAT YOU NEED TO AVOID -- 749 00:36:17,333 --> 00:36:19,333 CANDY, COOKIES, SWEETS, CHOCOLATE -- 750 00:36:19,333 --> 00:36:20,600 PEANUT-BUTTER CUPS. 751 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,767 PEANUT-BUTTER CUPS. OKAY. 752 00:36:22,767 --> 00:36:25,067 THAT WILL BE HARD. 753 00:36:25,067 --> 00:36:27,133 ALL RIGHT. MY EXPECTATION WILL BE 754 00:36:27,133 --> 00:36:31,267 IN ONE MONTH, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOSE AT LEAST 50 POUNDS. 755 00:36:31,267 --> 00:36:33,467 WOW. OKAY. [ CHUCKLES ] 756 00:36:33,467 --> 00:36:35,633 ALL RIGHT. YOU HAVE TO DO THIS NOW 757 00:36:35,633 --> 00:36:38,067 BECAUSE YOUR BODY CANNOT PHYSICALLY HANDLE 758 00:36:38,067 --> 00:36:39,733 ANY SURGERY AT THIS POINT. 759 00:36:39,733 --> 00:36:42,333 SO IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU, 760 00:36:42,333 --> 00:36:44,800 THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO TO SAVE YOU. 761 00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,067 OKAY. 762 00:36:46,067 --> 00:36:47,733 WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU. 763 00:36:47,733 --> 00:36:49,367 OKAY. THANK YOU. 764 00:36:49,367 --> 00:36:51,700 Megan: WE'LL SEE YOU IN A MONTH. 765 00:36:51,700 --> 00:36:53,433 ** 766 00:36:53,433 --> 00:36:54,967 I'M CERTAINLY GONNA GIVE IT A TRY, 767 00:36:54,967 --> 00:36:56,867 BUT 1,200 CALORIES A DAY? 768 00:36:56,867 --> 00:36:58,067 WELL, YOU CAN DO IT WITH -- 769 00:36:58,067 --> 00:37:00,867 I CAN EAT 1,200 CALORIES FOR BREAKFAST, SO... 770 00:37:00,867 --> 00:37:04,133 50 POUNDS WOULD BE AWESOME. THAT WOULD BE REALLY NICE. 771 00:37:04,133 --> 00:37:07,067 I CERTAINLY WANT TO MAKE THAT GOAL. 772 00:37:07,067 --> 00:37:09,500 Diana: RIGHT NOW, I THINK MY HEAD IS SPINNING. 773 00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:11,100 I TRUST HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S SAYING, 774 00:37:11,100 --> 00:37:14,967 BUT THAT DOESN'T SEEM REALISTIC TO ME. 775 00:37:14,967 --> 00:37:16,533 BEING ABLE TO LIVE WITH THE FACT 776 00:37:16,533 --> 00:37:18,367 THAT I'M GONNA BE TEMPTED TO NOT GIVE IN 777 00:37:18,367 --> 00:37:21,133 IS REALLY WHAT THE KEY IS FOR ME. 778 00:37:21,133 --> 00:37:23,733 IT'S HARD FOR ME TO SAY THAT I'M READY FOR THE JOURNEY, 779 00:37:23,733 --> 00:37:28,200 BUT IT'S EITHER PUT IT ALL IN TO GET THE WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 780 00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:29,767 OR JUST GO AHEAD AND GIVE UP NOW. 781 00:37:29,767 --> 00:37:32,933 AND I'M NOT WILLING TO GIVE UP NOW. 782 00:37:32,933 --> 00:37:36,133 THIS IS GOING TO BE THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE, 783 00:37:36,133 --> 00:37:38,167 BUT I HAVE NO CHOICE. 784 00:37:38,167 --> 00:37:40,067 I HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT. 785 00:37:40,067 --> 00:37:42,067 ** 786 00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:49,533 ** 787 00:37:58,633 --> 00:38:01,233 Diana: IT'S BEEN A FEW WEEKS SINCE I MOVED TO HOUSTON 788 00:38:01,233 --> 00:38:04,500 AND HAD MY FIRST DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT, 789 00:38:04,500 --> 00:38:06,767 AND I'VE BEEN WORKING TO STAY ON THIS DIET. 790 00:38:09,467 --> 00:38:12,867 IT HASN'T BEEN EASY, THOUGH. 791 00:38:12,867 --> 00:38:15,700 MEGAN HAS BEEN MAKING ALL THE FOOD WE EAT, 792 00:38:15,700 --> 00:38:21,467 SO I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO EAT ANY OF THE FOODS I WANT. 793 00:38:21,467 --> 00:38:26,067 IT'S A BIG ADJUSTMENT, BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO DO THIS. 794 00:38:26,067 --> 00:38:29,400 THE WAY I WAS EATING IN SEATTLE WAS REALLY TOXIC. 795 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:32,233 LOTS OF PIZZA, LOTS OF MEXICAN FOOD, 796 00:38:32,233 --> 00:38:35,433 LOTS OF DELIVERY. 797 00:38:35,433 --> 00:38:41,067 SO RIGHT NOW, I'M TRYING TO ADAPT HOW I VIEW FOOD. 798 00:38:41,067 --> 00:38:42,700 I JUST NEED TO FIND A WAY TO MAKE SURE 799 00:38:42,700 --> 00:38:45,133 THAT I DON'T REESTABLISH THE BAD HABITS 800 00:38:45,133 --> 00:38:47,433 THAT I HAD ESTABLISHED IN MY PAST. 801 00:38:47,433 --> 00:38:48,900 WHAT'S FOR DINNER TONIGHT? 802 00:38:48,900 --> 00:38:51,400 SALMON, SQUASH, SALAD. 803 00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:52,733 SOUNDS AWESOME. 804 00:38:52,733 --> 00:38:55,067 PAUL, CAN YOU COME HELP ME? 805 00:38:55,067 --> 00:38:57,167 Megan: LIVING WITH DIANA HAS BEEN DIFFICULT AT TIMES 806 00:38:57,167 --> 00:39:01,600 BECAUSE I KNOW SHE WANTS CERTAIN FOODS THAT ARE UNHEALTHY. 807 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,700 BUT I ESSENTIALLY CONTROL DIANA'S DIET -- 808 00:39:04,700 --> 00:39:07,067 EVERYTHING THAT SHE EATS, EVERYTHING SHE CONSUMES -- 809 00:39:07,067 --> 00:39:10,367 SO THERE'S A LOT PRESSURE ON ME. 810 00:39:13,067 --> 00:39:16,567 MY MOM IS HELPING TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING 811 00:39:16,567 --> 00:39:17,667 WHILE WE'RE DOWN HERE 812 00:39:17,667 --> 00:39:19,433 SO MY HUSBAND, PAUL, CAN WORK FROM HOME 813 00:39:19,433 --> 00:39:22,067 AND WE CAN ALL FOCUS ON HELPING DIANA. 814 00:39:22,067 --> 00:39:25,200 BUT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE FOOD FALLS ON ME. 815 00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:26,200 MORE WATER, PLEASE. 816 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:27,467 MORE WATER? THANK YOU. 817 00:39:27,467 --> 00:39:29,633 MM-HMM. 818 00:39:29,633 --> 00:39:31,133 ** 819 00:39:31,133 --> 00:39:32,567 MMM. VERY GOOD. 820 00:39:32,567 --> 00:39:34,333 THE SALMON'S PERFECT. 821 00:39:34,333 --> 00:39:36,533 Megan: THANK YOU. ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. 822 00:39:36,533 --> 00:39:39,833 WELL, I HOPE YOU'VE BEEN LIKING MY COOKING. 823 00:39:39,833 --> 00:39:41,700 YEAH. I KNOW IT'S VERY DIFFERENT 824 00:39:41,700 --> 00:39:42,933 FROM WHAT YOU WERE EATING BEFORE. 825 00:39:42,933 --> 00:39:44,233 IT'S A HUGE CHANGE FROM HOW I WAS EATING, 826 00:39:44,233 --> 00:39:47,667 AND I APPRECIATE THAT. 827 00:39:47,667 --> 00:39:50,067 Diana: MY DIET FROM WHEN I WAS IN SEATTLE TO NOW 828 00:39:50,067 --> 00:39:51,067 IS NIGHT AND DAY, 829 00:39:51,067 --> 00:39:54,067 FROM SUPER UNHEALTHY TO VERY HEALTHY, 830 00:39:54,067 --> 00:39:56,100 AND I'M JUST SO PLEASED WITH THAT. 831 00:39:56,100 --> 00:39:58,100 BEFORE I STARTED THIS TRANSITION, 832 00:39:58,100 --> 00:40:01,233 THIS PLATE WOULD'VE JUST BEEN ABSOLUTELY HEAPING WITH FOOD. 833 00:40:01,233 --> 00:40:03,100 AND WHEN I WAS FINISHED WITH THIS PLATE, 834 00:40:03,100 --> 00:40:06,900 THERE WOULD'VE BEEN A DESSERT, OR MAYBE TWO, TO EAT AFTERWARDS. 835 00:40:06,900 --> 00:40:08,367 ARE YOU DONE? I AM. 836 00:40:08,367 --> 00:40:10,067 TOTALLY? THANK YOU. MM-HMM. 837 00:40:10,067 --> 00:40:11,367 YEAH, VERY GOOD. 838 00:40:11,367 --> 00:40:13,267 IN GENERAL, SHE'S BEEN DOING VERY WELL. 839 00:40:13,267 --> 00:40:17,433 SHE IS VERY MOTIVATED AND VERY STEADFAST IN THE DIET. 840 00:40:17,433 --> 00:40:20,033 SHE'S BEEN VERY GOOD WITH STICKING TO IT. 841 00:40:20,033 --> 00:40:22,100 BUT I KNOW SHE'S ONLY EATING RIGHT 842 00:40:22,100 --> 00:40:24,067 BECAUSE WE'RE MAKING HER. 843 00:40:24,067 --> 00:40:27,033 SO I'M HOPING IF SHE'S JUST ABLE TO GET THE SURGERY, 844 00:40:27,033 --> 00:40:28,933 THEN THE CHANGES WILL REALLY STICK. 845 00:40:28,933 --> 00:40:32,400 ** 846 00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:35,967 Diana: I'M TIRED OF THIS LIFE WHERE I CAN BARELY GET AROUND. 847 00:40:35,967 --> 00:40:38,033 ** 848 00:40:38,033 --> 00:40:42,367 SO I'M WORKING HARD AT THIS. 849 00:40:42,367 --> 00:40:47,567 I'M GONNA EAT WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO AND NOT COMPLAIN 850 00:40:47,567 --> 00:40:50,033 BECAUSE I CAN'T SHOW UP AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE 851 00:40:50,033 --> 00:40:52,933 AND MISS THE GOAL. 852 00:40:52,933 --> 00:40:56,667 BECAUSE MY FAMILY BELIEVES IN ME... 853 00:40:56,667 --> 00:40:58,767 AND THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IN THIS WORLD 854 00:40:58,767 --> 00:41:00,567 RIGHT NOW IS DISAPPOINT THEM. 855 00:41:00,567 --> 00:41:03,567 ** 856 00:41:13,067 --> 00:41:15,800 TODAY, I'M GONNA SEE DR. NOWZARADAN AGAIN, 857 00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:19,933 AND I'M HOPING I LOST THE WEIGHT I NEEDED TO. 858 00:41:19,933 --> 00:41:21,700 ** 859 00:41:21,700 --> 00:41:24,067 PAUL IS GOING TO HELP ME, 860 00:41:24,067 --> 00:41:26,933 BUT MEGAN IS STAYING WITH THE KIDS. 861 00:41:26,933 --> 00:41:29,200 AND I'M HOPING I GET TO COME BACK HOME 862 00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:32,367 AND TELL THEM I DID IT, THAT I MADE THEM PROUD. 863 00:41:32,367 --> 00:41:34,433 ** 864 00:41:34,433 --> 00:41:38,767 SO I'M JUST HOPING I DON'T LET EVERYONE I LOVE DOWN TODAY. 865 00:41:38,767 --> 00:41:43,133 ** 866 00:41:43,133 --> 00:41:46,400 I FEEL LIKE I'VE DONE PERFECTLY THIS LAST MONTH. 867 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,667 OKAY. 868 00:41:48,667 --> 00:41:50,900 BUT WHEN YOU HAVEN'T LOST WEIGHT IN YEARS, 869 00:41:50,900 --> 00:41:54,433 YOU DOUBT THE SCALE CAN EVER GO DOWN FOR YOU. 870 00:41:54,433 --> 00:41:58,933 SO I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S GONNA SAY. 871 00:41:58,933 --> 00:42:00,133 HEY! OH, MY GOD. 872 00:42:00,133 --> 00:42:01,300 HEY! OH, MY GOD. 873 00:42:01,300 --> 00:42:02,600 ALL RIGHT, GET DOWN SAFELY. 874 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,800 OKAY. HOLD ON. 875 00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:06,900 [ GROANS ] OKAY. 876 00:42:06,900 --> 00:42:10,233 OH, MY GOSH. [ LAUGHS ] 877 00:42:10,233 --> 00:42:13,600 I'M IN ABSOLUTE DISBELIEF. 878 00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:17,433 IT'S NOT QUITE TO 50 POUNDS, BUT I'M HOPING THAT IT'S ENOUGH 879 00:42:17,433 --> 00:42:19,967 FOR THE DOCTOR TO SEE THAT I'M READY. 880 00:42:19,967 --> 00:42:22,867 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 881 00:42:22,867 --> 00:42:25,067 HELLO. HEY. HOW Y'ALL DOING? 882 00:42:25,067 --> 00:42:26,600 DOING REALLY WELL. GOOD. 883 00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:31,500 ALL RIGHT, SO YOU LOST LIKE 44 POUNDS. 884 00:42:31,500 --> 00:42:33,167 I KNOW. I'M ABSOLUTELY THRILLED. 885 00:42:33,167 --> 00:42:35,200 DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO LOSE THAT WEIGHT? 886 00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,167 NO, I'VE JUST BEEN STICKING TO THE PLAN 887 00:42:37,167 --> 00:42:38,533 AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. 888 00:42:38,533 --> 00:42:40,300 SINCE WE'VE BEEN IN THE HOUSE, IT'S BEEN EASIER 889 00:42:40,300 --> 00:42:42,067 BECAUSE WE HAVE CONTROL OF THE FOOD MORE. 890 00:42:42,067 --> 00:42:44,500 OKAY, WELL, THAT IS A POSITIVE CHANGE, 891 00:42:44,500 --> 00:42:46,267 AND I'M PROUD OF YOU FOR THAT. 892 00:42:46,267 --> 00:42:48,900 BUT YOU STILL SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE 893 00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:50,767 A LITTLE BIT MORE PROGRESS. 894 00:42:50,767 --> 00:42:53,667 HOW'S YOUR LEVEL OF ACTIVITY? 895 00:42:53,667 --> 00:42:56,133 THAT NEEDS TO IMPROVE. I TRIED WALKING. 896 00:42:56,133 --> 00:42:59,833 WITH MY BONE-ON-BONE KNEE, THAT WASN'T A GOOD IDEA. 897 00:42:59,833 --> 00:43:03,067 HOW ABOUT DOING UPPER-BODY EXERCISES? 898 00:43:03,067 --> 00:43:05,733 YEAH, I'VE GOT SOME LIGHT WEIGHTS THAT I CAN DO. 899 00:43:05,733 --> 00:43:07,067 OKAY. 900 00:43:07,067 --> 00:43:09,300 Dr. Nowzaradan: DIANA HAS DONE WELL. 901 00:43:09,300 --> 00:43:12,900 IT'S NOT 50 POUNDS, BUT IT IS GOOD PROGRESS. 902 00:43:12,900 --> 00:43:15,833 BUT SHE STILL TALKS LIKE SHE'S IN CONTROL, 903 00:43:15,833 --> 00:43:18,667 BUT THIS PROGRESS IS MORE THE RESULT 904 00:43:18,667 --> 00:43:21,600 OF HER ENABLER CHANGING THEIR DYNAMIC. 905 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,100 AND THAT'S GOOD, BUT SHE STILL DIDN'T MAKE 906 00:43:24,100 --> 00:43:26,767 AS MUCH PROGRESS THAT SHE SHOULD HAVE. 907 00:43:26,767 --> 00:43:30,233 SO YOU'RE NOT APPROVED FOR SURGERY AT THE MOMENT. 908 00:43:30,233 --> 00:43:33,067 OKAY. BUT I WANT YOU TO KEEP TRYING, 909 00:43:33,067 --> 00:43:35,500 AND I WANT TO SET UP A CALL WITH YOUR NIECE 910 00:43:35,500 --> 00:43:38,067 TO GO OVER THE MEALS SHE'S MAKING 911 00:43:38,067 --> 00:43:40,133 TO SEE WHAT YOU'RE EATING. 912 00:43:40,133 --> 00:43:41,233 MM. 913 00:43:41,233 --> 00:43:43,533 EVERY MONTH, YOU NEED TO LOSE 40 POUNDS. 914 00:43:43,533 --> 00:43:44,700 OKAY. 915 00:43:44,700 --> 00:43:46,400 THIS IS GONNA BE THE GOAL THAT WE'RE GONNA SET, 916 00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:49,700 AND IF YOU STICK WITH THE LOW-CALORIE, 917 00:43:49,700 --> 00:43:51,067 HIGH-PROTEIN DIET, 918 00:43:51,067 --> 00:43:54,067 YOU SHOULD EASILY BE ABLE TO LOSE 40 POUNDS A MONTH. 919 00:43:54,067 --> 00:43:55,233 OKAY. 920 00:43:55,233 --> 00:43:56,933 OKAY, STICK WITH IT. THANK YOU SO MUCH, DOCTOR. 921 00:43:56,933 --> 00:43:58,767 ALL RIGHT, WE'LL SEE YOU AROUND, OKAY? 922 00:43:58,767 --> 00:44:01,300 OKAY, SOUNDS GOOD. 923 00:44:01,300 --> 00:44:04,600 DIANA AND HER FAMILY STILL NEED TO KEEP WORKING 924 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:08,133 AT MAKING THESE CHANGES TO MAKE SURE THEY UNDERSTAND 925 00:44:08,133 --> 00:44:11,767 WHAT IT'S GOING TO TAKE TO DO THIS FOR THE LONG TERM. 926 00:44:11,767 --> 00:44:15,067 THIS IS NOT JUST AN EXPERIMENT FOR A MONTH. 927 00:44:15,067 --> 00:44:19,067 SO THEY NEED TO SHOW ME THEY FULLY GET THIS. 928 00:44:21,967 --> 00:44:23,600 Diana: I WAS KIND OF HOPING TO GET SCHEDULED 929 00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:27,400 FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, AND THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. 930 00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:30,433 SO I FEEL LIKE I FAILED. 931 00:44:30,433 --> 00:44:33,233 BUT I'M GONNA GO BACK AND TELL MY FAMILY 932 00:44:33,233 --> 00:44:36,900 THAT I STILL HAVE SOME WORK TO DO. 933 00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:39,133 I'M GOING TO DO THIS. 934 00:44:39,133 --> 00:44:40,367 I HAVE ANOTHER MONTH 935 00:44:40,367 --> 00:44:42,833 AND ANOTHER CHANCE TO PROVE MYSELF. 936 00:44:44,767 --> 00:44:49,433 ** 937 00:44:52,700 --> 00:44:54,633 MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOWZARADAN, 938 00:44:54,633 --> 00:44:56,400 I LOST 44 POUNDS, WHICH WAS AMAZING. 939 00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:57,867 I WAS ABSOLUTELY THRILLED. 940 00:44:57,867 --> 00:44:58,967 THEN HE SAID, 941 00:44:58,967 --> 00:45:01,100 "GO LOSE ANOTHER 40 POUNDS THIS MONTH." 942 00:45:01,100 --> 00:45:03,900 THAT'S VERY INTIMIDATING. 943 00:45:03,900 --> 00:45:05,633 AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT'S HAPPENED 944 00:45:05,633 --> 00:45:08,133 AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS JOURNEY IS I'VE BECOME 945 00:45:08,133 --> 00:45:13,200 MORE AND MORE AWARE OF HOW DISABLE I AM. 946 00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:16,467 AND I THINK SOME DAYS BECAUSE I'M NOT VERY MOBILE 947 00:45:16,467 --> 00:45:18,667 AND I CAN'T EXERCISE VERY MUCH, 948 00:45:18,667 --> 00:45:23,067 I FEEL LIKE 40 POUNDS IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME. 949 00:45:23,067 --> 00:45:26,133 SO WHAT I'M DOING THIS MONTH IS I'M ADDING IN EXERCISE, 950 00:45:26,133 --> 00:45:28,967 AND I'M NOT REALLY CAPABLE OF DOING A WHOLE LOT. 951 00:45:28,967 --> 00:45:32,100 BUT I FOUND A SEATED EXERCISE VIDEO THAT I'M DOING, 952 00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:34,500 SO THAT'S PROBABLY ONE OF THE BIGGEST CHANGES 953 00:45:34,500 --> 00:45:38,467 I HAVE GOING, IS MOVEMENT. 954 00:45:38,467 --> 00:45:40,767 MEGAN ALSO TALKED TO DR. NOW, 955 00:45:40,767 --> 00:45:43,800 AND WE ARE ON A STRICTER DIET NOW. 956 00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:45,500 SO EVERYTHING IN THE REFRIGERATOR 957 00:45:45,500 --> 00:45:47,067 IS VERY HEALTHY. 958 00:45:47,067 --> 00:45:52,267 NON-FAT YOGURT, EGGS, ICED TEA, BROCCOLI. 959 00:45:52,267 --> 00:45:53,967 WE HAD PRODUCE COME YESTERDAY 960 00:45:53,967 --> 00:45:55,633 FROM THE FARMERS MARKET THEY DELIVERED, 961 00:45:55,633 --> 00:45:57,833 SO I'M PRETTY MUCH SET. 962 00:45:57,833 --> 00:46:01,633 THIS ISN'T THE FOOD I LIKE OR WOULD TYPICALLY EAT, 963 00:46:01,633 --> 00:46:03,833 BUT IT'S THE FOOD I NEED TO EAT. 964 00:46:03,833 --> 00:46:06,867 SO I'VE LEARNED TO ADJUST EVEN MORE THIS MONTH. 965 00:46:06,867 --> 00:46:08,333 THE ONLY THING IN HERE THAT'S NOT HEALTHY 966 00:46:08,333 --> 00:46:12,567 IS THIS...ICE CREAM 967 00:46:12,567 --> 00:46:14,900 THAT THEY GOT THE OTHER NIGHT. 968 00:46:14,900 --> 00:46:15,933 [ SNIFFS ] 969 00:46:15,933 --> 00:46:17,800 IT SMELLS REALLY GOOD. 970 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:21,167 IT SMELLS REALLY STRONG OF VANILLA. 971 00:46:21,167 --> 00:46:23,933 THIS MONTH HAS BEEN HARDER THAN THE FIRST. 972 00:46:23,933 --> 00:46:27,567 IT'S TAKEN A LOT MORE WILL POWER TO KEEP GOING. 973 00:46:27,567 --> 00:46:30,100 BUT I GO BACK TO THE DOCTOR IN TWO WEEKS, 974 00:46:30,100 --> 00:46:33,200 AND WHEN I DO, I WANT TO HIT THE GOAL HE NEEDS 975 00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:36,067 SO I CAN GET SURGERY. 976 00:46:36,067 --> 00:46:39,733 AND I'M DETERMINED TO DO IT. 977 00:46:39,733 --> 00:46:44,067 MY FAMILY CAN'T STAY HERE WITH ME FOREVER, 978 00:46:44,067 --> 00:46:45,733 SO I HAVE TO DO THIS. 979 00:46:45,733 --> 00:46:49,867 AND EACH MONTH THAT GOES BY, I HAVE LESS TIME. 980 00:46:49,867 --> 00:46:52,567 SO I NEED TO HIT THE GOAL THE DOCTOR WANTS 981 00:46:52,567 --> 00:46:55,167 BY THE NEXT VISIT... 982 00:46:55,167 --> 00:46:57,667 BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY CHANCES 983 00:46:57,667 --> 00:46:58,767 I'M GOING TO GET. 984 00:46:58,767 --> 00:47:02,400 ** 985 00:47:09,633 --> 00:47:11,633 I'M SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW. 986 00:47:11,633 --> 00:47:13,600 Woman: DIANA BUNCH. OH. 987 00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:16,467 THE GOAL THE DOCTOR GAVE ME FOR THIS MONTH 988 00:47:16,467 --> 00:47:21,367 WAS TO LOSE 40 MORE POUNDS AND GET UNDER 517. 989 00:47:21,367 --> 00:47:23,467 AND I REALLY HOPE I'VE DONE THIS. 990 00:47:23,467 --> 00:47:26,100 ONE, TWO. 991 00:47:26,100 --> 00:47:27,900 I'M NOT SURE IF EVERYONE CAN DO 992 00:47:27,900 --> 00:47:29,767 ANOTHER MONTH LIKE THIS IN HOUSTON. 993 00:47:29,767 --> 00:47:32,433 SO I HAVE TO HIT THIS GOAL 994 00:47:32,433 --> 00:47:35,267 BECAUSE THIS MAY BE MY LAST CHANCE. 995 00:47:35,267 --> 00:47:36,133 ** 996 00:47:42,233 --> 00:47:45,467 ** 997 00:47:48,300 --> 00:47:50,400 LET'S SEE. 998 00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:52,900 Diana: I'M REALLY HOPING I HIT MY GOAL. 999 00:47:52,900 --> 00:47:55,633 DR. NOW SAID I HAD TO LOSE 40 POUNDS 1000 00:47:55,633 --> 00:47:59,533 AND GET UNDER 517 POUNDS THIS PAST MONTH. 1001 00:47:59,533 --> 00:48:03,333 AND I'M NERVOUS I'M NOT GONNA HIT THE NUMBER I NEED AGAIN. 1002 00:48:03,333 --> 00:48:06,333 ** 1003 00:48:06,333 --> 00:48:08,767 I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE MANY MORE CHANCES 1004 00:48:08,767 --> 00:48:10,800 IF I DIDN'T LOSE ENOUGH. 1005 00:48:15,567 --> 00:48:18,500 WOW. THAT'S AWESOME. 1006 00:48:18,500 --> 00:48:21,867 THAT MEANS I AM UNDER 500 POUNDS 1007 00:48:21,867 --> 00:48:24,533 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS. 1008 00:48:24,533 --> 00:48:26,767 ABSOLUTELY YEARS. 1009 00:48:26,767 --> 00:48:28,967 THAT IS AMAZING. 1010 00:48:28,967 --> 00:48:32,900 I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF RIGHT NOW. 1011 00:48:32,900 --> 00:48:34,600 AND I HOPE DR. NOWZARADAN 1012 00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,100 THINKS IT'S ENOUGH FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 1013 00:48:37,100 --> 00:48:41,433 ** 1014 00:48:41,433 --> 00:48:42,433 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 1015 00:48:42,433 --> 00:48:43,933 HI, DR. NOWZARADAN. 1016 00:48:43,933 --> 00:48:45,400 HELLO. HOW Y'ALL DOING? 1017 00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,100 DOING WELL, THANK YOU. HOW ARE YOU? 1018 00:48:47,100 --> 00:48:48,467 I'M DOING OKAY. 1019 00:48:48,467 --> 00:48:51,100 HOW YOU GETTING ALONG? I'M GETTING ALONG PRETTY WELL. 1020 00:48:51,100 --> 00:48:52,967 HOW IS YOUR DIET COMING ALONG? 1021 00:48:52,967 --> 00:48:55,700 VERY WELL. I'M STAYING 100% TO IT. 1022 00:48:55,700 --> 00:49:00,433 SO, YOU'RE 494 POUNDS NOW, HUH? 1023 00:49:00,433 --> 00:49:03,367 YEAH. SO I'M ABSOLUTELY ECSTATIC. 1024 00:49:03,367 --> 00:49:07,233 ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU'VE DONE VERY WELL WITH YOUR WEIGHT LOSS, 1025 00:49:07,233 --> 00:49:08,533 AND THAT'S VERY GOOD. 1026 00:49:08,533 --> 00:49:11,800 BUT ARE YOU MAKING THE FOOD CHANGES ON YOUR OWN, 1027 00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:14,500 OR ARE YOU STILL ON THE CONTROLLED DIET 1028 00:49:14,500 --> 00:49:17,600 THAT YOUR FAMILY'S GIVEN YOU? 1029 00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:19,200 UM... 1030 00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:20,900 YOUR FAMILY WAS GOING TO HELP YOU 1031 00:49:20,900 --> 00:49:23,667 GET SURGERY THEN GO BACK HOME. 1032 00:49:23,667 --> 00:49:26,667 MM-HMM. HERE'S MY CONCERN. 1033 00:49:26,667 --> 00:49:28,300 YOU'RE ONLY LOSING WEIGHT 1034 00:49:28,300 --> 00:49:30,300 BECAUSE THEY'RE FORCING YOU TO. 1035 00:49:30,300 --> 00:49:32,900 THE SECOND THEY LEAVE, I'M NOT SURE 1036 00:49:32,900 --> 00:49:37,100 IF YOU WILL GO OFF THE RAILS AGAIN. 1037 00:49:37,100 --> 00:49:41,333 DIANA AND HER FAMILY HAVE DONE WELL THESE PAST COUPLE MONTHS, 1038 00:49:41,333 --> 00:49:43,833 BUT HER NIECE MEGAN HAS BEEN 1039 00:49:43,833 --> 00:49:47,667 IN ALMOST COMPLETE CONTROL OF THE FOOD SHE EATS. 1040 00:49:47,667 --> 00:49:50,833 SO AT THIS POINT, I HAVE NO EVIDENCE 1041 00:49:50,833 --> 00:49:54,100 THAT THESE CHANGES WILL LAST PAST THE SURGERY, 1042 00:49:54,100 --> 00:49:56,200 AND IF THE FAMILY LEAVES, 1043 00:49:56,200 --> 00:50:01,500 DIANA MOST LIKELY WILL START OVEREATING AGAIN INSTANTLY. 1044 00:50:01,500 --> 00:50:04,867 SO HER SITUATION NEEDS TO REMAIN THE SAME 1045 00:50:04,867 --> 00:50:07,167 SO SHE CAN KEEP MAKING PROGRESS 1046 00:50:07,167 --> 00:50:12,033 UNTIL SHE STARTS TO MAKE MORE PERMANENT CHANGES. 1047 00:50:12,033 --> 00:50:15,833 THIS IS THE STEP I THINK WE ARE READY FOR. 1048 00:50:15,833 --> 00:50:18,133 YOU'RE MAKING PROGRESS AS A FAMILY, 1049 00:50:18,133 --> 00:50:21,033 SO I WILL APPROVE YOU FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 1050 00:50:21,033 --> 00:50:23,533 BUT ONLY IF YOUR FAMILY AGREES 1051 00:50:23,533 --> 00:50:26,833 TO STAY HERE IN HOUSTON FOR A WHILE LONGER 1052 00:50:26,833 --> 00:50:29,667 UNTIL YOU START DEALING WITH THE ISSUES 1053 00:50:29,667 --> 00:50:33,300 DRIVING YOU TO EAT IN THERAPY AFTER SURGERY. 1054 00:50:33,300 --> 00:50:35,333 OKAY. AND IF THEY DON'T, 1055 00:50:35,333 --> 00:50:38,400 I'M NOT GOING TO FEEL COMFORTABLE MOVING AHEAD 1056 00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,767 WITH THE SURGERY, OKAY? OKAY, YEAH, MAKES SENSE. 1057 00:50:40,767 --> 00:50:45,000 BUT IS THAT SOMETHING EVERYONE CAN AGREE TO? 1058 00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:46,633 MM-HMM. 1059 00:50:46,633 --> 00:50:48,733 ALL RIGHT. 1060 00:50:48,733 --> 00:50:51,967 THEN I'M APPROVING YOU FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 1061 00:50:51,967 --> 00:50:53,233 YAY, THAT'S AWESOME. 1062 00:50:53,233 --> 00:50:55,733 SO Y'ALL KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, 1063 00:50:55,733 --> 00:50:57,467 AND I'LL SEE YOU SOON. 1064 00:50:57,467 --> 00:51:00,800 THANK YOU, DR. NOWZARADAN. BYE-BYE. 1065 00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:04,133 ALL RIGHT, NEXT STEPS. 1066 00:51:04,133 --> 00:51:05,367 I'M FEELING REALLY EXCITED 1067 00:51:05,367 --> 00:51:06,433 THAT I'M APPROVED FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 1068 00:51:06,433 --> 00:51:08,433 SO THAT'S A BIG CELEBRATION FOR ME. 1069 00:51:08,433 --> 00:51:10,900 ALL RIGHT, YOU GO AHEAD AND GO OUT, 1070 00:51:10,900 --> 00:51:12,600 AND I'M GONNA BE BEHIND YOU. 1071 00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:16,100 ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT. 1072 00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:22,767 ** 1073 00:51:31,133 --> 00:51:34,067 I'M JUST SO SICK OF THIS [BLEEP] 1074 00:51:34,067 --> 00:51:35,400 I JUST WANT TO GET THE KIDS OUT OF HERE 1075 00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:38,667 AND GET THIS [BLEEP] OVER WITH. 1076 00:51:38,667 --> 00:51:40,567 DO I THINK SHE HAS THE MOTIVATION TO IT ON HER OWN? 1077 00:51:40,567 --> 00:51:42,433 I HAVE NO [BLEEP] IDEA. 1078 00:51:44,567 --> 00:51:46,600 SHE NEVER PROVED TO ME SHE DID IT ON HER OWN. 1079 00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:48,900 SHE JUST PROVED THAT SHE COULD DO IT WITH ME. 1080 00:51:48,900 --> 00:51:50,567 I'M FEEDING HER 900 CALORIES A DAY. 1081 00:51:50,567 --> 00:51:52,100 OF COURSE SHE LOST WEIGHT. 1082 00:51:52,100 --> 00:51:54,367 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? 1083 00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:01,867 [ AMBULANCE BEEPING ] 1084 00:52:01,867 --> 00:52:04,667 ** 1085 00:52:04,667 --> 00:52:09,900 I KNOW MY FAMILY HAS SACRIFICED A LOT TO HELP ME GET HERE. 1086 00:52:09,900 --> 00:52:12,867 AND I'M SO THANKFUL FOR ALL THEY'VE DONE. 1087 00:52:16,067 --> 00:52:20,333 I KNOW IT'S A LOT FOR THEM, BUT THEY'RE SAVING MY LIFE. 1088 00:52:20,333 --> 00:52:24,067 ** 1089 00:52:40,333 --> 00:52:44,867 I'M SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW. 1090 00:52:44,867 --> 00:52:48,067 BUT I'M JUST GLAD MY FAMILY IS HERE. 1091 00:52:48,067 --> 00:52:49,433 I LOVE YOU, SWEETHEART. 1092 00:52:49,433 --> 00:52:51,633 OKAY? I LOVE YOU ALL DAY, 1093 00:52:51,633 --> 00:52:54,933 EVERY DAY, NO MATTER WHAT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 1094 00:52:54,933 --> 00:52:59,433 I KNOW THIS IS A VERY HIGH-RISK, VERY DANGEROUS SURGERY, 1095 00:52:59,433 --> 00:53:01,667 BUT THIS SURGERY IS THE ONLY WAY 1096 00:53:01,667 --> 00:53:04,967 I HAVE A CHANCE AT THE LIFE I WANT. 1097 00:53:04,967 --> 00:53:08,867 SO NO MATTER HOW SCARED I AM, 1098 00:53:08,867 --> 00:53:12,233 THE RISK IS WORTH WHAT I'M TRYING TO GAIN. 1099 00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:19,733 Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY, I'M GOING TO ATTEMPT A GASTRIC BYPASS ON DIANA. 1100 00:53:19,733 --> 00:53:23,567 BUT SHE'S 56 NOW, AND HER AGE COMBINED 1101 00:53:23,567 --> 00:53:29,067 WITH HER WEIGHT MAKES THIS AN EXTREMELY HIGH-RISK SURGERY. 1102 00:53:29,067 --> 00:53:33,300 SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING GO WELL WITH HER. 1103 00:53:36,633 --> 00:53:38,833 WE HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL 1104 00:53:38,833 --> 00:53:42,533 NOT TO PUSH HER BODY BEYOND ITS LIMIT 1105 00:53:42,533 --> 00:53:47,433 BECAUSE A PERSON HER SIZE CAN'T HANDLE VERY MUCH. 1106 00:53:47,433 --> 00:53:51,833 SO IF I ENCOUNTER ANY ISSUES WITH HER OPERATION, 1107 00:53:51,833 --> 00:53:54,200 I MAY HAVE TO REDUCE THE SURGERY 1108 00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:58,533 OR END THE OPERATION ALTOGETHER FOR SAFETY. 1109 00:54:07,667 --> 00:54:10,600 YOU CAN TURN THE ROOM LIGHT OFF. 1110 00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:12,700 ** 1111 00:54:28,933 --> 00:54:33,067 WAITING FOR DIANA, HONESTLY, I'M WORRIED 1112 00:54:33,067 --> 00:54:35,100 BECAUSE AT HER WEIGHT, 1113 00:54:35,100 --> 00:54:38,567 HER CHANCES OF SURVIVAL ARE LOWER. 1114 00:54:38,567 --> 00:54:41,267 I'M JUST HOPING THE SURGERY WILL BE SUCCESSFUL 1115 00:54:41,267 --> 00:54:42,967 SO THAT SHE CAN BE SUCCESSFUL 1116 00:54:42,967 --> 00:54:45,433 FOR THE NEXT 20 YEARS OF HER LIFE. 1117 00:54:45,433 --> 00:54:47,133 ** 1118 00:55:04,733 --> 00:55:07,433 Dr. Nowzaradan: WITH A GASTRIC-SLEEVE OPERATION, 1119 00:55:07,433 --> 00:55:11,400 WE REMOVE 70% TO 80% OF THE STOMACH. 1120 00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:15,633 BUT SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY WILL NOT ALTER THE INTESTINE, 1121 00:55:15,633 --> 00:55:20,367 SO A GASTRIC SLEEVE WON'T CHANGE THEIR METABOLISM THAT MUCH. 1122 00:55:24,433 --> 00:55:29,167 BUT A GASTRIC-SLEEVE PATIENT AFTER SURGERY WILL EAT LESS, 1123 00:55:29,167 --> 00:55:31,367 AND THEY LOSE WEIGHT. 1124 00:55:31,367 --> 00:55:36,233 SO IT IS NOT AS AGGRESSIVE, BUT IT'S STILL EFFECTIVE. 1125 00:55:36,233 --> 00:55:39,200 ROOM LIGHT ON. 1126 00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:42,100 OKAY, LET'S CLOSE HER UP. 1127 00:55:43,133 --> 00:55:46,400 ALL RIGHT, ALL FINISHED. 1128 00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:49,967 ALL RIGHT, DIANA'S SURGERY WENT VERY WELL. 1129 00:55:49,967 --> 00:55:53,067 Man: BIG, DEEP BREATHS, DIANA. YOU'RE JUST WAKING UP. 1130 00:55:53,067 --> 00:55:57,367 EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T ABLE TO GIVE HER A GASTRIC BYPASS, 1131 00:55:57,367 --> 00:56:00,700 THIS SLEEVE SURGERY IS GOING TO HELP HER 1132 00:56:00,700 --> 00:56:02,967 TO STAY ON TRACK WITH HER WEIGHT LOSS 1133 00:56:02,967 --> 00:56:07,067 AND LOSE BETWEEN 20 TO 30 POUNDS A MONTH. 1134 00:56:07,067 --> 00:56:11,467 BUT NOW THE REAL WORK IS GOING TO START WITH DIANA. 1135 00:56:11,467 --> 00:56:14,733 BEFORE SURGERY, WE DEAL WITH THE MENTAL STATE 1136 00:56:14,733 --> 00:56:18,333 OF THE PATIENT TO HANDLE THE CHANGES COMING. 1137 00:56:18,333 --> 00:56:21,200 BUT WE CANNOT ADDRESS THE PATHOLOGY. 1138 00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:24,100 SO DIANA HAS TO BEGIN THE PROCESS 1139 00:56:24,100 --> 00:56:28,067 OF DEALING WITH WHAT HAS BEEN DRIVING HER TO EAT. 1140 00:56:28,067 --> 00:56:30,233 AS SOON AS SHE RECOVER FROM SURGERY, 1141 00:56:30,233 --> 00:56:32,567 I'M GOING TO SEND HER TO THERAPY 1142 00:56:32,567 --> 00:56:35,733 TO START TO DEAL WITH HER ISSUES. 1143 00:56:35,733 --> 00:56:39,567 AND DIANA'S FAMILY ALSO WANTS TO GO BACK HOME 1144 00:56:39,567 --> 00:56:41,867 AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. 1145 00:56:41,867 --> 00:56:44,167 SO WE NEED TO ACT FAST 1146 00:56:44,167 --> 00:56:48,067 TO HELP HER DEAL WITH HER EMOTIONAL ISSUES. 1147 00:56:48,067 --> 00:56:51,200 THE REAL HARD STUFF STARTS NOW FOR DIANA. 1148 00:56:55,867 --> 00:56:59,367 ** 1149 00:57:00,900 --> 00:57:02,400 OHH. 1150 00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:03,933 OHH. 1151 00:57:03,933 --> 00:57:05,267 OH. 1152 00:57:05,267 --> 00:57:09,500 Diana: IT'S BEEN A HARD FEW DAYS RECOVERING FROM SURGERY, 1153 00:57:09,500 --> 00:57:13,133 AND I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING. 1154 00:57:13,133 --> 00:57:14,800 OW, OKAY. 1155 00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:17,667 ** 1156 00:57:17,667 --> 00:57:21,500 I JUST WANT TO STAY IN BED AND REST RIGHT NOW. 1157 00:57:21,500 --> 00:57:25,267 BUT EVEN WHEN I GET UP, I CAN'T DO MUCH. 1158 00:57:28,133 --> 00:57:31,667 I NEED TO BREATHE. 1159 00:57:31,667 --> 00:57:35,533 IT JUST FEELS LIKE I HAVE THE WIND SUCKED OUT OF ME. 1160 00:57:35,533 --> 00:57:38,433 OHH! 1161 00:57:38,433 --> 00:57:40,267 ALL RIGHT. 1162 00:57:41,300 --> 00:57:44,867 SOMETHING'S MISSING. 1163 00:57:44,867 --> 00:57:48,233 IT'S LIKE YOU'VE LOST YOUR BEST FRIEND, 1164 00:57:48,233 --> 00:57:50,533 AND I'M MOURNING THE LOSS OF SOMETHING. 1165 00:57:50,533 --> 00:57:53,633 AND THEN I'M UPSET AT MYSELF FOR FEELING THESE THINGS. 1166 00:57:53,633 --> 00:57:56,833 ** 1167 00:57:56,833 --> 00:57:59,300 I THINK I'M A LITTLE DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW, 1168 00:57:59,300 --> 00:58:01,667 AND I'M HOPING IT PASSES SOON. 1169 00:58:06,967 --> 00:58:09,667 BUT I JUST DON'T WANT TO EAT. 1170 00:58:09,667 --> 00:58:11,500 ** 1171 00:58:11,500 --> 00:58:14,333 DO YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE? NO, I'M GOOD. 1172 00:58:15,733 --> 00:58:19,167 I'M JUST A LITTLE SCARED ABOUT HOW IT'S GOING SO FAR. 1173 00:58:19,167 --> 00:58:22,067 ** 1174 00:58:28,133 --> 00:58:30,933 [ GROANS ] 1175 00:58:30,933 --> 00:58:33,067 ** 1176 00:58:33,067 --> 00:58:35,133 IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE MY SURGERY, 1177 00:58:35,133 --> 00:58:37,300 AND IT'S STILL BEEN REALLY TOUGH. 1178 00:58:37,300 --> 00:58:39,933 ** 1179 00:58:39,933 --> 00:58:43,600 I WAS HOPING THAT ONCE I GOT HOME, I'D START TO ADJUST 1180 00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:45,767 AND GET MY MOTIVATION BACK. 1181 00:58:45,767 --> 00:58:48,367 BUT THAT HASN'T REALLY HAPPENED. 1182 00:58:48,367 --> 00:58:51,367 ** 1183 00:58:51,367 --> 00:58:53,300 BUT I KNOW I'M STILL MAKING PROGRESS 1184 00:58:53,300 --> 00:58:55,800 BECAUSE I CAN FEEL THE DIFFERENCE IN MY SIZE. 1185 00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:59,633 MY SHIRTS ARE SUPER LOOSE AND BIG. 1186 00:58:59,633 --> 00:59:01,233 I'M REALLY HAPPY, 1187 00:59:01,233 --> 00:59:04,167 AND TO HAVE CLOTHES BE LOOSE ON ME HASN'T HAPPENED FOR SO LONG. 1188 00:59:04,167 --> 00:59:07,067 IT'S JUST UNBELIEVABLE. 1189 00:59:07,067 --> 00:59:08,933 SO I'VE TRIED TO STAY POSITIVE 1190 00:59:08,933 --> 00:59:11,100 AND KEEP DOING WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO, 1191 00:59:11,100 --> 00:59:13,500 BUT I'M NOT GETTING UP MUCH RIGHT NOW 1192 00:59:13,500 --> 00:59:17,267 AND I KNOW I NEED TO CHANGE THAT. 1193 00:59:17,267 --> 00:59:18,667 GOOD MORNING. Paul: GOOD MORNING. 1194 00:59:18,667 --> 00:59:19,767 Megan: MORNING. 1195 00:59:19,767 --> 00:59:21,500 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS MAKING THIS MORNING? 1196 00:59:22,833 --> 00:59:24,533 REALLY? 1197 00:59:24,533 --> 00:59:27,700 Diana: MEGAN AND THE GIRLS HAVE STARTED TO LOOSEN UP THEIR DIET 1198 00:59:27,700 --> 00:59:31,233 AND EAT SOME THINGS THAT WOULD NORMALLY BE VERY TEMPTING TO ME. 1199 00:59:34,167 --> 00:59:36,300 BUT I'M STILL ON SOFT FOODS, 1200 00:59:36,300 --> 00:59:38,300 SO I CAN'T REALLY OVEREAT RIGHT NOW. 1201 00:59:38,300 --> 00:59:40,267 Megan: DO YOU WANT SPRINKLES ON YOUR PANCAKES? 1202 00:59:40,267 --> 00:59:41,733 Girl: YES. OKAY. 1203 00:59:41,733 --> 00:59:44,667 LET'S EAT OUR YUMMY BREAKFAST. 1204 00:59:44,667 --> 00:59:48,367 ** 1205 00:59:48,367 --> 00:59:51,633 I DO MISS REAL FOOD AT THIS POINT, THOUGH. 1206 00:59:51,633 --> 00:59:54,267 AND I KNOW IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME 1207 00:59:54,267 --> 00:59:59,067 BEFORE THE CRAVINGS COME BACK AND I START TO STRUGGLE AGAIN. 1208 00:59:59,067 --> 01:00:02,067 SO THIS IS A LOT HARDER THAN I THOUGHT. 1209 01:00:02,067 --> 01:00:06,100 ** 1210 01:00:06,100 --> 01:00:11,300 BUT I'VE WORKED HARD TO STAY ON TRACK WITH MY DIET. 1211 01:00:11,300 --> 01:00:12,700 AND IT'S THE FIRST TIME 1212 01:00:12,700 --> 01:00:15,567 I'M EXCITED TO GET ON A SCALE EVER. 1213 01:00:18,533 --> 01:00:21,367 RIGHT NOW, I'M HEADED TO SEE DR. NOW 1214 01:00:21,367 --> 01:00:23,367 FOR MY FIRST FOLLOW-UP SINCE SURGERY. 1215 01:00:23,367 --> 01:00:25,000 OKAY, HOLD ON. 1216 01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:28,667 AND I'M GONNA TRY AND GO BY REGULAR VEHICLE TODAY. 1217 01:00:28,667 --> 01:00:31,067 ** 1218 01:00:31,067 --> 01:00:33,200 BUT THE LAST TIME I GOT IN THE VAN, 1219 01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:37,167 I WASN'T ABLE TO GET OUT WITHOUT PARAMEDICS TO HELP. 1220 01:00:37,167 --> 01:00:39,767 OKAY, NOW I NEED YOU TO HELP ME GET MY FOOT IN. 1221 01:00:39,767 --> 01:00:41,700 OHH. 1222 01:00:41,700 --> 01:00:44,933 [ GRUNTS ] 1223 01:00:44,933 --> 01:00:47,400 OHH. OKAY, I'M IN. 1224 01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:51,700 ** 1225 01:00:56,233 --> 01:00:59,033 THIS IS AMAZING 1226 01:00:59,033 --> 01:01:02,500 BECAUSE THIS MEANS I CAN FINALLY GO PLACES. 1227 01:01:02,500 --> 01:01:04,133 ** 1228 01:01:04,133 --> 01:01:07,967 ALL MY PROGRESS -- IT OPENS UP A WHOLE NEW WORLD FOR ME. 1229 01:01:07,967 --> 01:01:09,200 OH. 1230 01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:11,200 OKAY. 1231 01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:15,433 I LEFT THE HOSPITAL AT 460 POUNDS. 1232 01:01:15,433 --> 01:01:16,867 AND THE DOCTOR SAID 1233 01:01:16,867 --> 01:01:21,300 I SHOULD LOSE 20 TO 30 POUNDS A MONTH AFTER SURGERY. 1234 01:01:21,300 --> 01:01:22,333 ** 1235 01:01:22,333 --> 01:01:24,733 SO I HOPE THAT I'M ON TRACK. 1236 01:01:24,733 --> 01:01:27,467 ** 1237 01:01:27,467 --> 01:01:28,833 OH, AWESOME. 1238 01:01:28,833 --> 01:01:30,833 I'M HAPPY WITH THAT NUMBER. 1239 01:01:30,833 --> 01:01:33,567 ** 1240 01:01:33,567 --> 01:01:38,833 I'M REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF, AND I HOPE DR. NOW IS, TOO. 1241 01:01:38,833 --> 01:01:40,533 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 1242 01:01:40,533 --> 01:01:42,600 HI, DR. NOWZARADAN. HELLO. 1243 01:01:42,600 --> 01:01:44,267 HOW Y'ALL DOING? DOING REALLY GOOD, THANKS. 1244 01:01:44,267 --> 01:01:46,067 HOW ARE YOU? ALL RIGHT. 1245 01:01:46,067 --> 01:01:50,100 SO, YOU ARE AT 433 TODAY, HUH? 1246 01:01:50,100 --> 01:01:51,200 YES. 1247 01:01:51,200 --> 01:01:53,467 CAN YOU TELL THE DIFFERENCE? 1248 01:01:53,467 --> 01:01:55,833 YEAH, I CAN, AND I WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU 1249 01:01:55,833 --> 01:01:57,933 I GOT HERE TODAY NOT IN AN AMBULANCE, 1250 01:01:57,933 --> 01:01:59,467 BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME, I RODE IN A VAN. 1251 01:01:59,467 --> 01:02:01,467 ALL RIGHT. SO THAT WAS GREAT. 1252 01:02:01,467 --> 01:02:03,100 I'M REALLY, REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THAT. 1253 01:02:03,100 --> 01:02:05,333 NOW YOU GOT TO FIT IN A NORMAL CAR. 1254 01:02:05,333 --> 01:02:07,633 YES, EXACTLY. THAT'S A BIG THING FOR ME. 1255 01:02:07,633 --> 01:02:11,067 THAT'S A BIG THING, A GREAT IMPROVEMENT. 1256 01:02:11,067 --> 01:02:13,467 AND HOW'S YOUR DIET COMING ALONG? 1257 01:02:13,467 --> 01:02:16,967 REAL GOOD. I'M JUST ON STILL SOFT FOODS, 1258 01:02:16,967 --> 01:02:19,367 BUT DRINKING A LOT OF PROTEIN. OKAY. 1259 01:02:19,367 --> 01:02:23,067 SO, YOU ARE PROGRESSING PRETTY GOOD, 1260 01:02:23,067 --> 01:02:28,600 AND YOUR WEIGHT LOSS IS ACCORDING TO EXPECTED. 1261 01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:31,167 NOW, HOW IS YOUR ACTIVITY GOING ON? 1262 01:02:31,167 --> 01:02:33,300 I'VE HAD A LOT OF DIFFICULTY WITH MY KNEE, 1263 01:02:33,300 --> 01:02:36,667 SO MY WALKING'S NOT AS GREAT, BUT DEFINITELY CAN SEE 1264 01:02:36,667 --> 01:02:38,167 THE DIFFERENCE IN MY CLOTHES AND EVERYTHING. 1265 01:02:38,167 --> 01:02:40,733 SO, YOUR WEIGHT LOSS IS GOOD, 1266 01:02:40,733 --> 01:02:43,200 BUT LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING. 1267 01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:45,667 YOU'RE GOING TO HIT A WALL VERY SOON 1268 01:02:45,667 --> 01:02:47,433 AND START TO OVEREAT 1269 01:02:47,433 --> 01:02:50,833 UNLESS YOU START TO DEAL WITH YOUR EMOTIONAL ISSUES. 1270 01:02:50,833 --> 01:02:53,767 SO YOU HAVE TO SEE THE THERAPIST, 1271 01:02:53,767 --> 01:02:56,300 AND YOU NEED TO DO THAT IMMEDIATELY. 1272 01:02:56,300 --> 01:02:58,833 OKAY, THAT SOUNDS GREAT. ALL RIGHT. 1273 01:02:58,833 --> 01:03:01,900 DIANA HAS STAYED ON TRACK THIS PAST MONTH, 1274 01:03:01,900 --> 01:03:03,133 WHICH IS GOOD. 1275 01:03:03,133 --> 01:03:05,400 BUT SHE'S NOT BEEN ACTIVE 1276 01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:09,067 AND IS USING HER KNEE PAIN AS AN EXCUSE. 1277 01:03:09,067 --> 01:03:14,067 THE REALITY IS SHE'S STRUGGLING WITH HER EMOTIONAL ISSUES. 1278 01:03:14,067 --> 01:03:16,233 IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME 1279 01:03:16,233 --> 01:03:18,467 BEFORE YOU START TO GAIN AGAIN, 1280 01:03:18,467 --> 01:03:21,133 SO YOU NEED TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY. 1281 01:03:21,133 --> 01:03:24,367 KEEP AT IT AND CALL THE THERAPIST. 1282 01:03:24,367 --> 01:03:26,067 ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU NEXT MONTH. 1283 01:03:26,067 --> 01:03:27,267 I'LL SEE YOU NEXT MONTH. THANK YOU. 1284 01:03:27,267 --> 01:03:29,233 ALL RIGHT, NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 1285 01:03:29,233 --> 01:03:31,567 ALL RIGHT. 1286 01:03:31,567 --> 01:03:36,167 ** 1287 01:03:36,167 --> 01:03:38,067 Megan: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I EXPECTED -- 1288 01:03:38,067 --> 01:03:40,767 THAT SHE WAS GONNA LOSE THE MINIMUM AMOUNT OF WEIGHT. 1289 01:03:40,767 --> 01:03:44,300 BUT I REALLY THINK SHE HAS TO JUST KEEP EXERCISING. 1290 01:03:44,300 --> 01:03:47,200 ** 1291 01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:51,367 Diana: I'M NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT SEEING A THERAPIST. 1292 01:03:51,367 --> 01:03:55,933 BUT IF THE DOCTOR THINKS I NEED IT, I'M GONNA DO IT. 1293 01:03:55,933 --> 01:03:59,567 OH. OKAY. 1294 01:03:59,567 --> 01:04:03,800 CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THIS FOOT, PAUL? 1295 01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:06,467 IT'S JUST NOT GOING TO BE VERY PLEASANT, 1296 01:04:06,467 --> 01:04:08,833 AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. 1297 01:04:08,833 --> 01:04:10,667 BUT I'LL TRY AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. 1298 01:04:15,700 --> 01:04:20,433 ** 1299 01:04:24,667 --> 01:04:27,200 Diana: TODAY, I'M GOING TO SEE A THERAPIST, 1300 01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:31,400 AND I KNOW THAT I HAVE A LOT OF EMOTIONAL ISSUES TO DEAL WITH 1301 01:04:31,400 --> 01:04:36,533 IF I WANT TO CHANGE MY EATING HABITS FOR GOOD. 1302 01:04:36,533 --> 01:04:37,933 BEFORE I LEFT SEATTLE, 1303 01:04:37,933 --> 01:04:40,567 I WAS JUST CAUGHT IN A MAZE OF DEPRESSION, 1304 01:04:40,567 --> 01:04:43,600 AND THERE WASN'T ANY MOVEMENT FORWARD. 1305 01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:48,567 BECAUSE IT'S NOT AN EASY PROCESS 1306 01:04:48,567 --> 01:04:52,167 TO TALK ABOUT DEEP THINGS OR EMOTIONAL THINGS, 1307 01:04:52,167 --> 01:04:54,567 ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE THE VERY TOPICS 1308 01:04:54,567 --> 01:04:56,933 YOU SPENT A LIFETIME TRYING TO AVOID. 1309 01:04:56,933 --> 01:04:58,067 DIANA? 1310 01:04:58,067 --> 01:04:59,533 YEAH, I'M DIANA. SO NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M CASEY. 1311 01:04:59,533 --> 01:05:01,500 COME ON BACK. 1312 01:05:01,500 --> 01:05:04,300 SO I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN, 1313 01:05:04,300 --> 01:05:07,600 AND I'M A LITTLE SCARED RIGHT NOW. 1314 01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:10,900 ALL RIGHT, WELL, WELCOME. 1315 01:05:10,900 --> 01:05:13,500 SO, JUST SO I HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF BACKGROUND, 1316 01:05:13,500 --> 01:05:16,133 TELL ME ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK 1317 01:05:16,133 --> 01:05:19,833 CONTRIBUTED TO GETTING TO THIS POINT. 1318 01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:22,467 YOU KNOW, I THINK I WAS ALWAYS SENSITIVE. 1319 01:05:22,467 --> 01:05:24,700 MY CHILDHOOD WAS CHAOTIC. 1320 01:05:24,700 --> 01:05:27,733 MY PARENTS WERE THERE, BUT MY PARENTS HAD FIVE KIDS. 1321 01:05:27,733 --> 01:05:29,833 OH, MY, SO THEIR HANDS WERE FULL. 1322 01:05:29,833 --> 01:05:31,200 THEIR HANDS WERE FULL. 1323 01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:33,300 I FELT LIKE THEY DID THEIR BEST TO SUPPORT ME, 1324 01:05:33,300 --> 01:05:37,333 BUT THERE WAS NEVER A GREAT SUPPORTIVE ATMOSPHERE. 1325 01:05:37,333 --> 01:05:39,800 AT TIMES, THAT WAS A VERY LONELY THING. 1326 01:05:39,800 --> 01:05:41,967 IT MADE ME FEEL REALLY INSECURE. 1327 01:05:41,967 --> 01:05:45,300 I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE THERE WAS A SAFE HARBOR FOR ME. 1328 01:05:45,300 --> 01:05:47,167 NO SAFE PLACE FOR YOU? NO. 1329 01:05:47,167 --> 01:05:49,700 SO WHAT HELPED YOU AT THAT TIME -- 1330 01:05:49,700 --> 01:05:53,300 'CAUSE YOU WERE SO YOUNG -- COPE WITH THAT? 1331 01:05:53,300 --> 01:05:55,100 THE MONEY THAT I HAD -- YOU KNOW, 1332 01:05:55,100 --> 01:05:56,633 I'D GET A LITTLE ALLOWANCE EVERY WEEK -- 1333 01:05:56,633 --> 01:05:58,900 WAS SPENT ON CANDY. OH, OKAY. 1334 01:05:58,900 --> 01:06:00,700 NOW, THERE WASN'T A HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY, 1335 01:06:00,700 --> 01:06:02,200 SO I COULDN'T GET FAT FROM IT, 1336 01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:04,067 BUT I DO REMEMBER THAT THAT'S WHAT MY MONEY 1337 01:06:04,067 --> 01:06:05,233 WAS GONNA BE FOR. OKAY. 1338 01:06:05,233 --> 01:06:08,367 WOW, SO YOU LEARNED AT AN EARLY AGE 1339 01:06:08,367 --> 01:06:11,700 THAT FOOD COULD SOOTHE YOU. 1340 01:06:11,700 --> 01:06:13,333 OH, ABSOLUTELY. 1341 01:06:13,333 --> 01:06:16,767 AND THEN WHEN I WAS PROBABLY AROUND 12, 1342 01:06:16,767 --> 01:06:19,233 I WAS MOLESTED. OKAY. 1343 01:06:19,233 --> 01:06:21,533 AND IT WAS A COUPLE OF HIGH-SCHOOL BOYS. 1344 01:06:21,533 --> 01:06:24,333 OH, MY GOD. AND, YOU KNOW, 1345 01:06:24,333 --> 01:06:28,333 I THINK I JUST STARTED FEELING UNSAFE IN MY BODY. 1346 01:06:28,333 --> 01:06:30,367 AND I FELT BAD ABOUT MYSELF. 1347 01:06:30,367 --> 01:06:32,167 I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SMARTER. 1348 01:06:32,167 --> 01:06:34,067 WHAT WAS I POSSIBLY DOING 1349 01:06:34,067 --> 01:06:35,700 THAT SENT OFF THAT KIND OF SIGNAL? 1350 01:06:35,700 --> 01:06:37,667 SO YOU WERE BLAMING YOURSELF. 1351 01:06:37,667 --> 01:06:39,367 YEAH, IT WAS HARD NOT TO, YOU KNOW? 1352 01:06:39,367 --> 01:06:42,433 AT THE TIME, IT WAS CRUSHING. OF COURSE. 1353 01:06:42,433 --> 01:06:44,500 IT CAN BE DEVASTATING. MM-HMM. 1354 01:06:44,500 --> 01:06:46,500 SO, YEAH, THAT'S HARD. 1355 01:06:46,500 --> 01:06:48,533 THAT'S A HARD THING TO THINK ABOUT. 1356 01:06:48,533 --> 01:06:49,967 [ SNIFFLES ] IT'S VERY SAD. 1357 01:06:49,967 --> 01:06:52,233 YEAH. IT'S VERY SAD. 1358 01:06:52,233 --> 01:06:54,533 IT IS. 1359 01:06:54,533 --> 01:06:56,067 THAT PROBABLY PLAYED A BIGGER ROLE 1360 01:06:56,067 --> 01:06:58,933 THAN I'VE REALIZED UNTIL JUST NOW, 1361 01:06:58,933 --> 01:07:01,233 THAT I PROTECTED MYSELF BY GETTING UNATTRACTIVE. 1362 01:07:01,233 --> 01:07:02,267 MM-HMM. 1363 01:07:02,267 --> 01:07:05,600 AND IT REALLY DID KEEP ME REALLY SAFE. 1364 01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:08,433 THE WEIGHT DID KEEP YOU SAFE, 1365 01:07:08,433 --> 01:07:09,933 AND THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE CRAVING. 1366 01:07:09,933 --> 01:07:11,300 YEAH. 1367 01:07:11,300 --> 01:07:14,300 NOW I WANT TO BE SAFE WITHOUT HAVING TO BE UNHEALTHY. 1368 01:07:14,300 --> 01:07:19,233 WELL, I AM VERY IMPRESSED BY YOUR INSIGHT 1369 01:07:19,233 --> 01:07:20,900 AND SELF-AWARENESS. 1370 01:07:20,900 --> 01:07:23,100 I WOULD SAY THAT A LOT OF THIS HAS KIND OF DEVELOPED 1371 01:07:23,100 --> 01:07:25,600 IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS WHEN I HAVEN'T BEEN EATING IT AWAY. 1372 01:07:25,600 --> 01:07:26,933 IT'S A WONDERFUL START, 1373 01:07:26,933 --> 01:07:28,867 JUST BEING IN TUNE WITH YOUR BODY. 1374 01:07:28,867 --> 01:07:29,867 MM-HMM. 1375 01:07:29,867 --> 01:07:32,800 THE FACT THAT YOU'RE RECONNECTING NOW 1376 01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:34,433 AND NOT AVOIDING 1377 01:07:34,433 --> 01:07:39,100 IS SOMETHING THAT YOU SHOULD FEEL REALLY, REALLY PROUD OF. 1378 01:07:39,100 --> 01:07:42,400 [ SNIFFLES ] 1379 01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:46,333 [ SOBS, COUGHS ] 1380 01:07:46,333 --> 01:07:48,633 WHAT ARE YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW? 1381 01:07:48,633 --> 01:07:53,300 I'M FEELING SAD THAT I HAD TO CREATE... 1382 01:07:53,300 --> 01:07:57,700 THESE EXCUSES BECAUSE I DIDN'T TRUST 1383 01:07:57,700 --> 01:08:00,067 THAT PEOPLE WOULD BE THERE FOR ME IN A HEALTHY WAY. 1384 01:08:00,067 --> 01:08:02,500 AND SO, I CREATED THIS BIG PROBLEM, 1385 01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:05,933 THIS BIG OBSTACLE THAT, 1386 01:08:05,933 --> 01:08:09,067 YOU KNOW, WAS SUPPOSED TO KEEP ME SAFE, 1387 01:08:09,067 --> 01:08:12,100 BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY KILLING ME, YOU KNOW? 1388 01:08:12,100 --> 01:08:14,867 AND I'M NOT QUITE SURE HOW TO BREAK THAT PATTERN. 1389 01:08:14,867 --> 01:08:16,067 OKAY. 1390 01:08:16,067 --> 01:08:17,833 WHEN I WOULD HAVE THESE FEELINGS OF ANXIETY, 1391 01:08:17,833 --> 01:08:19,500 I WOULD EAT THEM AWAY, AND THEY WENT AWAY. 1392 01:08:19,500 --> 01:08:20,833 WELL, NOW I HAVE TO FEEL THEM. 1393 01:08:20,833 --> 01:08:22,833 IT'S OKAY TO FEEL ANXIOUS. 1394 01:08:22,833 --> 01:08:24,867 SOMETIMES IT'S A VERY... 1395 01:08:24,867 --> 01:08:28,333 APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO WHAT'S GOING ON. 1396 01:08:28,333 --> 01:08:30,067 LIKE, YOU SHOULD FEEL ANXIOUS ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS. 1397 01:08:30,067 --> 01:08:31,700 UH-HUH. BUT I LOVE THE IDEA 1398 01:08:31,700 --> 01:08:35,167 OF GETTING OUT OF YOUR HEAD, FOCUSING ON SOMETHING ELSE. 1399 01:08:35,167 --> 01:08:38,067 IT CAN EVEN BE AS SIMPLE AS JOURNALING. 1400 01:08:38,067 --> 01:08:41,933 AND THEN I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU 1401 01:08:41,933 --> 01:08:43,767 TO TRY TO FOCUS A LITTLE MORE 1402 01:08:43,767 --> 01:08:45,667 ON BEING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT. 1403 01:08:45,667 --> 01:08:46,667 YEAH. 1404 01:08:46,667 --> 01:08:48,367 WE ONLY HAVE CONTROL OVER 1405 01:08:48,367 --> 01:08:51,333 WHAT WE'RE DOING RIGHT HERE IN THIS MOMENT. 1406 01:08:51,333 --> 01:08:53,167 YEAH. AND YOU'LL BE OKAY. 1407 01:08:53,167 --> 01:08:55,567 YEAH, AND THAT'S ABSOLUTELY TRUE, YEAH. 1408 01:08:55,567 --> 01:08:58,533 I HAVE THE HIGHEST OF HOPES FOR YOU. 1409 01:08:58,533 --> 01:09:00,067 I REALLY DO. APPRECIATE THAT. 1410 01:09:00,067 --> 01:09:02,733 I THINK YOU ARE SET UP FOR SOME REALLY GOOD SUCCESS, 1411 01:09:02,733 --> 01:09:06,067 AND I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK MOVING FORWARD. 1412 01:09:06,067 --> 01:09:09,300 THANK YOU SO MUCH. OH, YOU'RE SO WELCOME. 1413 01:09:09,300 --> 01:09:12,400 OHH. 1414 01:09:12,400 --> 01:09:14,967 IT WAS REALLY NICE TO TALK ABOUT SOME THINGS, 1415 01:09:14,967 --> 01:09:19,700 BUT IT BROUGHT A LOT EMOTION UP TO THE SURFACE. 1416 01:09:19,700 --> 01:09:22,800 SO RIGHT NOW, I'M FEELING A LITTLE OVERWHELMED. 1417 01:09:22,800 --> 01:09:24,733 [ SCOFFS ] 1418 01:09:24,733 --> 01:09:26,667 OH, SORRY. 1419 01:09:26,667 --> 01:09:29,300 IT'S A LOT TO PROCESS. 1420 01:09:29,300 --> 01:09:33,400 ** 1421 01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:35,567 BUT I'M GONNA SPEND SOME TIME 1422 01:09:35,567 --> 01:09:39,267 THINKING ABOUT WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT TODAY. 1423 01:09:39,267 --> 01:09:40,367 ** 1424 01:09:40,367 --> 01:09:43,433 AND OVERALL, I THINK IT ALL WENT WELL. 1425 01:09:43,433 --> 01:09:46,900 ** 1426 01:09:58,733 --> 01:10:00,267 THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS 1427 01:10:00,267 --> 01:10:04,100 SINCE SEEING THE THERAPIST HAVE BEEN GOOD. 1428 01:10:04,100 --> 01:10:06,567 I WANT TO WORK THROUGH MY EMOTIONS, 1429 01:10:06,567 --> 01:10:09,867 AND I KNOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO THAT SOON... 1430 01:10:09,867 --> 01:10:11,700 THAT'S A GOOD PLACE FOR IT. YEAH. THANKS. 1431 01:10:11,700 --> 01:10:13,200 ...BECAUSE MEGAN SAID SHE WANTED 1432 01:10:13,200 --> 01:10:16,800 TO SIT DOWN AND TALK WITH ME TODAY. 1433 01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:18,900 AND I KNOW IT'S TO TELL ME 1434 01:10:18,900 --> 01:10:22,433 IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR THEM TO GO BACK TO WASHINGTON. 1435 01:10:22,433 --> 01:10:26,100 BUT I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME, AND I HAVE TO GET READY FOR IT. 1436 01:10:26,100 --> 01:10:28,167 YOU KNOW, PAUL AND I HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT 1437 01:10:28,167 --> 01:10:30,433 MOVING BACK HOME IN A FEW MONTHS, 1438 01:10:30,433 --> 01:10:34,100 SO I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE READY, 1439 01:10:34,100 --> 01:10:36,900 REALLY READY TO BE BACK OUT ON YOUR OWN. 1440 01:10:36,900 --> 01:10:38,600 I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE GONNA GO BACK, 1441 01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:40,600 AND THAT MAKES ABSOLUTE SENSE. 1442 01:10:40,600 --> 01:10:42,667 THESE MONTHS OF HAVING YOU GUYS' SUPPORT 1443 01:10:42,667 --> 01:10:44,533 HAS BEEN CRITICAL TO MY WEIGHT LOSS, 1444 01:10:44,533 --> 01:10:46,733 BUT I FEEL REALLY COMMITTED TO THIS PROGRAM. 1445 01:10:46,733 --> 01:10:49,500 I FEEL REALLY COMMITTED TO THE WAY THAT I EAT. 1446 01:10:49,500 --> 01:10:51,700 AND I CERTAINLY SUPPORT YOU DOING THAT, 1447 01:10:51,700 --> 01:10:55,233 AND I'LL START LOOKING FOR AN APARTMENT 1448 01:10:55,233 --> 01:10:56,967 IN THE NEXT LITTLE WHILE HERE. 1449 01:10:56,967 --> 01:10:58,433 I MEAN, IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS. 1450 01:10:58,433 --> 01:11:01,700 YEAH, YEAH, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WANT TO GO BACK HOME. 1451 01:11:01,700 --> 01:11:04,300 YEAH, WELL... YEAH. 1452 01:11:04,300 --> 01:11:06,633 'CAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ROOTS HERE. 1453 01:11:06,633 --> 01:11:10,067 BUT WE DON'T WANT TO LEAVE, PUT YOU IN A POSITION 1454 01:11:10,067 --> 01:11:11,633 WHERE EITHER YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU'RE READY 1455 01:11:11,633 --> 01:11:13,100 OR WE DIDN'T PROVIDE ENOUGH SUPPORT. 1456 01:11:13,100 --> 01:11:16,433 I FEEL VERY COMFORTABLE MAINTAINING THE CORRECT FOOD, 1457 01:11:16,433 --> 01:11:18,767 THE RIGHT PORTIONS. I COULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS 1458 01:11:18,767 --> 01:11:21,133 WITHOUT YOUR SUPPORT BECAUSE ON MY OWN, 1459 01:11:21,133 --> 01:11:23,133 I WASN'T HAVING ANY HEADWAY WITH THAT, 1460 01:11:23,133 --> 01:11:25,467 SO REALLY GRATEFUL. NO PROBLEM. 1461 01:11:25,467 --> 01:11:28,300 I COULD NOT BREAK THE HABITS IN THE SAME ENVIRONMENT 1462 01:11:28,300 --> 01:11:29,833 THAT I DEVELOPED THE HABITS. 1463 01:11:29,833 --> 01:11:32,400 AND I NEEDED THE ACCOUNTABILITY. 1464 01:11:32,400 --> 01:11:34,767 IF I ORDERED A PIZZA, YOU WERE CERTAINLY GONNA KNOW. 1465 01:11:34,767 --> 01:11:38,633 I THINK I HAD TO HAVE THAT BREAK AND THAT SAFE ENVIRONMENT 1466 01:11:38,633 --> 01:11:39,667 IN ORDER TO DO THAT. 1467 01:11:39,667 --> 01:11:41,800 EVERY SINGLE MILESTONE, 1468 01:11:41,800 --> 01:11:43,733 YOU'VE EITHER ACHIEVED OR BEATEN, 1469 01:11:43,733 --> 01:11:46,767 AND THAT'S AWESOME. THANK YOU. 1470 01:11:46,767 --> 01:11:48,167 AND I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU. 1471 01:11:48,167 --> 01:11:49,767 SERIOUSLY COULD NOT HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU. 1472 01:11:49,767 --> 01:11:53,067 I KNOW. SO I'M GRATEFUL FOR THAT. 1473 01:11:53,067 --> 01:11:55,100 I KNOW IT'S TIME FOR THEM TO LEAVE, 1474 01:11:55,100 --> 01:11:56,767 BUT I'M REALLY SCARED 1475 01:11:56,767 --> 01:12:00,100 BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME THROUGH THIS WHOLE PROCESS, 1476 01:12:00,100 --> 01:12:02,700 I'M GOING TO BE ON MY OWN. 1477 01:12:02,700 --> 01:12:07,267 AND I KNOW THAT THAT'S GOING TO BE THE REAL TEST FOR ME. 1478 01:12:07,267 --> 01:12:10,167 AND I JUST REALLY HOPE I'M READY FOR IT. 1479 01:12:16,967 --> 01:12:19,733 ** 1480 01:12:32,133 --> 01:12:34,167 Diana: I'M ABOUT READY TO GO OUT. 1481 01:12:34,167 --> 01:12:36,267 IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND JUST MOVING THAT ONE RUG 1482 01:12:36,267 --> 01:12:38,300 AND THEN OPENING THE DOOR FOR ME -- EITHER ONE. 1483 01:12:38,300 --> 01:12:40,733 OH, SURE. THANKS. 1484 01:12:40,733 --> 01:12:44,533 Diana: IT'S BEEN A HARD COUPLE OF MONTHS. 1485 01:12:44,533 --> 01:12:47,167 I'VE WORKED HARD TO STAY ON TRACK WITH MY DIET, 1486 01:12:47,167 --> 01:12:48,567 AND I'VE BEEN GETTING UP 1487 01:12:48,567 --> 01:12:51,333 AND TRYING TO EXERCISE WHEN I CAN. 1488 01:12:53,167 --> 01:12:55,667 BUT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE WALKED OUTSIDE 1489 01:12:55,667 --> 01:13:01,367 WITH JUST MY WALKER AND MYSELF, SO I'M JUST TAKING IT SLOW. 1490 01:13:01,367 --> 01:13:04,567 IT FEELS HOPEFUL, SO THIS IS JUST A START. 1491 01:13:04,567 --> 01:13:07,700 AND I CAN GO JUST A LITTLE BIT FURTHER EVERY TIME, 1492 01:13:07,700 --> 01:13:09,267 JUST A LITTLE BIT FURTHER. 1493 01:13:09,267 --> 01:13:11,867 HEY, ADDY. 1494 01:13:11,867 --> 01:13:13,533 HEY, LOVE YOU. 1495 01:13:13,533 --> 01:13:15,933 I'VE BEEN DREADING THE FACT THAT MEGAN AND HER FAMILY 1496 01:13:15,933 --> 01:13:19,267 ARE GOING BACK TO WASHINGTON SOON. 1497 01:13:19,267 --> 01:13:20,867 IN FACT, THEY'RE LEAVING IN A FEW DAYS, 1498 01:13:20,867 --> 01:13:24,300 AND I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 1499 01:13:24,300 --> 01:13:29,400 SO THIS IS MY FIRST REAL CHALLENGE TO PROVE MYSELF. 1500 01:13:29,400 --> 01:13:32,067 I'VE HAD SOMEONE LIKE MEGAN OR DR. NOW 1501 01:13:32,067 --> 01:13:34,400 TO HOLD MY HAND UP TO THIS POINT. 1502 01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:36,367 ** 1503 01:13:36,367 --> 01:13:41,367 NOW FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE STARTING, I'M ON MY OWN. 1504 01:13:41,367 --> 01:13:44,633 IT'S ALWAYS FUN TO BE OUTSIDE WITH YOU. 1505 01:13:44,633 --> 01:13:47,333 Megan: I'M REALLY PROUD OF DIANA. 1506 01:13:47,333 --> 01:13:49,600 KNOWING SHE'S MAKING SO MUCH PROGRESS 1507 01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:52,933 AND DOING SO WELL IS SUCH A HUGE RELIEF. 1508 01:13:52,933 --> 01:13:55,500 ** 1509 01:13:55,500 --> 01:13:59,867 BUT PAUL AND THE GIRLS AND I JUST HAVE TO GO HOME. 1510 01:13:59,867 --> 01:14:03,267 WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR DIANA BECAUSE WE LOVE HER 1511 01:14:03,267 --> 01:14:05,367 AND WE WANTED HER TO GET THIS CHANCE. 1512 01:14:05,367 --> 01:14:06,933 AND NOW THAT SHE'S DOING WELL, 1513 01:14:06,933 --> 01:14:09,933 WE NEED TO PLAN TO GO BACK HOME TO SEATTLE. 1514 01:14:09,933 --> 01:14:12,467 AND I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT DIANA'S GOTTEN TO A PLACE 1515 01:14:12,467 --> 01:14:14,633 WHERE SHE CAN DO THIS ON HER OWN. 1516 01:14:14,633 --> 01:14:16,567 HERE THEY COME. 1517 01:14:16,567 --> 01:14:19,500 IN FIRST PLACE IN THE 2-YEAR-OLD DIVISION 1518 01:14:19,500 --> 01:14:22,667 IS THE ONE AND ONLY ANYA. 1519 01:14:22,667 --> 01:14:26,700 YAY, YOU'RE THE WINNER. 1520 01:14:26,700 --> 01:14:33,167 I LOVE MY FAMILY, AND THEY'VE SACRIFICED SO MUCH FOR ME. 1521 01:14:33,167 --> 01:14:36,233 SO I'M NOT GOING TO LET THEM DOWN. 1522 01:14:36,233 --> 01:14:39,467 THIS IS MY MOMENT TO SHOW EVERYONE, 1523 01:14:39,467 --> 01:14:42,833 INCLUDING MYSELF, I CAN DO THIS. 1524 01:14:42,833 --> 01:14:45,867 ** 1525 01:14:56,733 --> 01:14:58,433 TODAY, I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING 1526 01:14:58,433 --> 01:15:01,833 THAT I HAVEN'T DONE IN OVER A DECADE. 1527 01:15:01,833 --> 01:15:04,800 I'M GONNA GO TO A GYM. 1528 01:15:04,800 --> 01:15:06,800 ONE ACCOMPLISHMENT ALREADY TODAY -- 1529 01:15:06,800 --> 01:15:08,633 THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN ABLE 1530 01:15:08,633 --> 01:15:12,167 TO HAVE A SEATBELT ON WITHOUT AN EXTENDER. 1531 01:15:12,167 --> 01:15:15,867 THAT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE LITTLE VICTORIES. 1532 01:15:15,867 --> 01:15:18,733 IT'S SMALL, BUT IT'S BIG TO ME. 1533 01:15:18,733 --> 01:15:22,300 ** 1534 01:15:22,300 --> 01:15:24,133 I DEFINITELY HAVE SOME APPREHENSION 1535 01:15:24,133 --> 01:15:25,633 ABOUT GOING TO THE GYM. 1536 01:15:25,633 --> 01:15:28,667 I'M AFRAID PEOPLE WILL LAUGH AT ME. 1537 01:15:28,667 --> 01:15:31,533 BUT GETTING MY HEALTH BACK IS SO IMPORTANT THAT 1538 01:15:31,533 --> 01:15:32,967 I'M WILLING TO DO IT. 1539 01:15:32,967 --> 01:15:35,200 HOW ARE YOU? I'M GOOD. 1540 01:15:35,200 --> 01:15:36,300 HOW ARE YOU DOING? I'M DOING GOOD. 1541 01:15:36,300 --> 01:15:38,400 LET'S JUST START OUT WITH A LITTLE WARM-UP. 1542 01:15:38,400 --> 01:15:39,800 OKAY. 1543 01:15:39,800 --> 01:15:41,867 THIS IS GONNA BE YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM HERE, NOT THE WALKER. 1544 01:15:41,867 --> 01:15:43,967 JUST FIVE KNEE BENDS. OKAY. 1545 01:15:43,967 --> 01:15:45,500 OKAY? YOU GOT IT? 1546 01:15:45,500 --> 01:15:47,167 GOT IT. ALL RIGHT. 1547 01:15:47,167 --> 01:15:50,067 SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT. ALL RIGHT. 1548 01:15:50,067 --> 01:15:54,700 THIS ISN'T GOING TO BE EASY, BUT I KNOW I CAN DO THIS. 1549 01:15:54,700 --> 01:15:56,400 VERY NICE. 1550 01:15:56,400 --> 01:15:58,667 I'M ALREADY WALKING AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD 1551 01:15:58,667 --> 01:16:00,800 AND STAYING AS ACTIVE AS I CAN. 1552 01:16:00,800 --> 01:16:04,233 I'M JUST GONNA DO THIS, ALL RIGHT. 1553 01:16:04,233 --> 01:16:05,900 LOVE THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE. 1554 01:16:05,900 --> 01:16:07,067 [ CHUCKLES ] 1555 01:16:07,067 --> 01:16:09,900 SO I FIGURE THE GYM IS THE NATURAL NEXT STEP 1556 01:16:09,900 --> 01:16:11,600 TO PUSH MYSELF TO DO MORE. 1557 01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:13,700 SO YOU GOT TO COME AROUND THIS WAY. 1558 01:16:13,700 --> 01:16:16,600 ** 1559 01:16:16,600 --> 01:16:19,400 MY HOPE IS THAT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR, 1560 01:16:19,400 --> 01:16:23,167 I WON'T EVEN NEED MY WALKER. 1561 01:16:23,167 --> 01:16:24,433 OH. 1562 01:16:24,433 --> 01:16:26,167 OKAY. 1563 01:16:26,167 --> 01:16:28,600 LOOKING GOOD. 1564 01:16:28,600 --> 01:16:32,067 I'M PROUD OF HOW FAR I'M PUSHING MYSELF. 1565 01:16:32,067 --> 01:16:35,067 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D MAKE IT THIS FAR. 1566 01:16:35,067 --> 01:16:36,567 THERE YOU GO. 1567 01:16:36,567 --> 01:16:39,233 DIANA REALLY SURPRISED ME. 1568 01:16:39,233 --> 01:16:42,567 I COULD TELL IT WAS HARD, BUT ONCE SHE EASED INTO IT, 1569 01:16:42,567 --> 01:16:45,900 SHE EXCELLED. 1570 01:16:45,900 --> 01:16:47,900 Diana: I FEEL GOOD, AND I'M HOPING 1571 01:16:47,900 --> 01:16:51,233 I CAN MAKE THIS A NORMAL PART OF MY ROUTINE. 1572 01:16:51,233 --> 01:16:53,400 ONE OF THE THINGS THAT MADE ME REALLY HAPPY TODAY 1573 01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:56,133 WAS I WAS ABLE TO NOT ONLY DO WHAT GOZI ASKED ME, 1574 01:16:56,133 --> 01:16:58,700 BUT TO JUST GO A LITTLE BIT FURTHER. 1575 01:16:58,700 --> 01:17:00,300 AND I FELT A LITTLE BIT UNCOMFORTABLE 1576 01:17:00,300 --> 01:17:03,333 THAT NOT WHAT I HAD BUILT IT UP TO BE. 1577 01:17:03,333 --> 01:17:05,467 I'M FEELING REALLY GOOD. I FEEL VERY INDEPENDENT 1578 01:17:05,467 --> 01:17:07,567 BEING ABLE TO GO OUT AND DO THIS ON MY OWN. 1579 01:17:07,567 --> 01:17:09,867 I'M FEELING TIRED, AND I'M GONNA GO HOME AND HAVE A REST. 1580 01:17:09,867 --> 01:17:12,833 ** 1581 01:17:29,933 --> 01:17:32,533 THIS PAST MONTH, I'VE BEEN REALLY WORKING ON DOING A LOT 1582 01:17:32,533 --> 01:17:38,467 OF WHAT THE THERAPIST SUGGESTED TO HELP DEAL WITH MY EMOTIONS. 1583 01:17:38,467 --> 01:17:42,467 I REALIZE THAT A LOT OF THE REASON THAT I USE FOOD 1584 01:17:42,467 --> 01:17:45,233 IS BECAUSE I DON'T DEAL WITH THE WAY I'M FEELING, 1585 01:17:45,233 --> 01:17:50,233 AND DEALING WITH HOW I'M FEELING IS CRITICAL FOR MY HEALING. 1586 01:17:50,233 --> 01:17:56,233 I STARTED JOURNALING, AND I DO FEEL LIKE IT'S HELPED A LOT. 1587 01:17:56,233 --> 01:17:58,600 RIGHT NOW, WHAT I'M WRITING ABOUT ARE MY FEELINGS 1588 01:17:58,600 --> 01:18:02,567 AND FEARS ABOUT BEING ALONE. 1589 01:18:02,567 --> 01:18:05,167 MEGAN AND PAUL HAVE HEADED BACK TO SEATTLE, 1590 01:18:05,167 --> 01:18:07,867 BUT THEY WILL BE BACK DOWN IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS 1591 01:18:07,867 --> 01:18:11,900 TO GO BACK TO THE DOCTOR WITH ME AND FIND OUT IF I'VE LOST WEIGHT 1592 01:18:11,900 --> 01:18:15,067 WHILE I WAS ON MY OWN OR IF I'VE STARTED TO GAIN. 1593 01:18:15,067 --> 01:18:20,467 BEING ALONE RIGHT NOW, IT'S SCARY, 1594 01:18:20,467 --> 01:18:22,933 BECAUSE WHAT IF I CAN'T DO THIS ON MY OWN 1595 01:18:22,933 --> 01:18:26,567 AND I'M GONNA LET EVERYONE DOWN? 1596 01:18:26,567 --> 01:18:29,067 NORMALLY, I BOTTLE IT UP 1597 01:18:29,067 --> 01:18:32,867 AND THEN USE FOOD TO DEAL WITH THAT EMOTION. 1598 01:18:32,867 --> 01:18:36,933 BUT I'M TRYING TO ADDRESS IT AND NOT RUN FROM IT. 1599 01:18:36,933 --> 01:18:40,333 BUT NO MATTER HOW LONELY OR HOW HARD IT GETS, 1600 01:18:40,333 --> 01:18:42,800 I HAVE TO STAY STRONG. 1601 01:18:42,800 --> 01:18:45,133 IF I DON'T, I COULD LOSE IT ALL. 1602 01:18:51,067 --> 01:18:55,333 ** 1603 01:18:59,367 --> 01:19:01,867 Diana: IT'S BEEN GETTING HARDER AND HARDER 1604 01:19:01,867 --> 01:19:06,067 TO RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO EAT SOMETHING I SHOULDN'T. 1605 01:19:06,067 --> 01:19:08,367 ** 1606 01:19:08,367 --> 01:19:12,167 BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN GIVING IN. 1607 01:19:12,167 --> 01:19:14,367 IT'S THE LONELINESS THAT DOES IT RIGHT NOW. 1608 01:19:14,367 --> 01:19:18,733 ** 1609 01:19:18,733 --> 01:19:25,133 IT'S HARD, SO I'VE DEVELOPED A FOOD PLAN TO KEEP ME ON TRACK. 1610 01:19:25,133 --> 01:19:27,067 MEGAN IS COMING IN A COUPLE WEEKS 1611 01:19:27,067 --> 01:19:28,767 TO TAKE ME TO THE DOCTOR 1612 01:19:28,767 --> 01:19:32,367 AND SEE IF I'M LOSING OR GAINING, 1613 01:19:32,367 --> 01:19:35,733 AND I WANT TO MAKE HER PROUD WHEN I GET BACK ON THE SCALE. 1614 01:19:38,667 --> 01:19:41,067 EVERY DAY, I BECOME MORE AND MORE AWARE 1615 01:19:41,067 --> 01:19:43,867 OF HOW FOCUSED I NEED TO BE 1616 01:19:43,867 --> 01:19:47,333 BECAUSE ONE WRONG DECISION COULD BE THE FIRST STEP 1617 01:19:47,333 --> 01:19:51,700 IN A DIRECTION THAT LEADS ME RIGHT BACK TO BEING 600 POUNDS. 1618 01:19:51,700 --> 01:19:54,367 ** 1619 01:19:54,367 --> 01:19:58,900 SO, NO MATTER HOW HARD IT GETS, I'M NOT GIVING IN. 1620 01:19:58,900 --> 01:20:01,567 ** 1621 01:20:08,533 --> 01:20:12,867 I'M HEADED FOR MY NEXT DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW. 1622 01:20:12,867 --> 01:20:15,500 IT'S BEEN A FEW MONTHS SINCE MY LAST APPOINTMENT... 1623 01:20:15,500 --> 01:20:16,733 OKAY. 1624 01:20:16,733 --> 01:20:20,467 ...AND I SHOULD BE BELOW 400 AND INTO THE 300s. 1625 01:20:20,467 --> 01:20:22,633 DIANA BUNCH? 1626 01:20:22,633 --> 01:20:25,033 I'VE DONE EVERYTHING RIGHT, I'VE STAYED ON MY PLAN, 1627 01:20:25,033 --> 01:20:26,200 BUT I'M STILL NERVOUS. 1628 01:20:26,200 --> 01:20:29,600 I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT THE SCALE IS GONNA SAY. 1629 01:20:29,600 --> 01:20:32,367 I WANT TO MAKE MEGAN PROUD AND TO SHOW HER 1630 01:20:32,367 --> 01:20:35,767 AND THE DOCTOR I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN, 1631 01:20:35,767 --> 01:20:38,067 SO I HOPE IT'S A GOOD NUMBER. 1632 01:20:39,400 --> 01:20:42,200 YAY! THAT'S FANTASTIC. 1633 01:20:42,200 --> 01:20:44,300 IT JUST SHOWS THAT MY HARD WORK'S PAYING OFF, 1634 01:20:44,300 --> 01:20:46,933 AND IT MAKES EVERYTHING SO WORTH IT. 1635 01:20:46,933 --> 01:20:48,333 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 1636 01:20:48,333 --> 01:20:51,567 ALL RIGHT, SO, TODAY YOU ARE DOWN TO 359. 1637 01:20:51,567 --> 01:20:53,467 YES. AND YOU'RE DOING GREAT. 1638 01:20:53,467 --> 01:20:55,933 I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1639 01:20:55,933 --> 01:20:57,700 SO, HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW? 1640 01:20:57,700 --> 01:20:59,767 I'M FEELING A WHOLE LOT BETTER, YOU KNOW? 1641 01:20:59,767 --> 01:21:02,600 I CAN DO MORE, I CAN GET AROUND EASIER -- 1642 01:21:02,600 --> 01:21:04,967 JUST OPEN UP THE WHOLE WORLD FOR ME. 1643 01:21:04,967 --> 01:21:07,067 Dr. Nowzaradan: DIANA IS DOING VERY WELL. 1644 01:21:07,067 --> 01:21:09,267 SHE'S MADE THE PROGRESS SHE SHOULD, 1645 01:21:09,267 --> 01:21:11,733 AND SHE'S STAYED ON THE DIET THE WHOLE TIME. 1646 01:21:11,733 --> 01:21:14,833 HER DYNAMIC WITH HER WHOLE FAMILY 1647 01:21:14,833 --> 01:21:18,833 HAS NOT ONLY CHANGED, BUT SHE HAS MADE THE TRANSITION 1648 01:21:18,833 --> 01:21:21,100 TO MAKING RIGHT CHOICES FOR HERSELF. 1649 01:21:21,100 --> 01:21:23,133 SO, YOU'RE GOING TO BE READY 1650 01:21:23,133 --> 01:21:26,200 FOR YOUR FIRST SKIN SURGERY VERY SOON. 1651 01:21:26,200 --> 01:21:29,433 AT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR, YOU COULD BE AT YOUR TARGET. 1652 01:21:29,433 --> 01:21:32,467 THAT'S FANTASTIC, AND AGAIN, I JUST SO APPRECIATE YOU 1653 01:21:32,467 --> 01:21:33,833 AND ALL YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT ALONG THE WAY. 1654 01:21:33,833 --> 01:21:35,433 ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1655 01:21:35,433 --> 01:21:36,767 ALL RIGHT, NICE TO SEE YOU. I APPRECIATE IT. 1656 01:21:36,767 --> 01:21:38,067 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. NICE TO SEE YOU. 1657 01:21:38,067 --> 01:21:40,067 I'LL SEE Y'ALL LATER. BYE-BYE. 1658 01:21:43,333 --> 01:21:45,533 Megan: I'M REALLY PROUD OF DIANA. 1659 01:21:45,533 --> 01:21:48,767 IT WAS HARD TO HAVE TO GO BACK AND LEAVE HER, 1660 01:21:48,767 --> 01:21:53,567 BUT I HAD NO DOUBT SHE COULD DO THIS ON HER OWN. 1661 01:21:53,567 --> 01:21:56,833 I LOVE DIANA, AND MY WHOLE FAMILY -- 1662 01:21:56,833 --> 01:21:59,633 YOU KNOW, WE CAN'T IMAGINE LOSING HER. 1663 01:21:59,633 --> 01:22:02,467 SO, KNOWING THAT SHE'S MAKING SO MUCH PROGRESS 1664 01:22:02,467 --> 01:22:06,633 IS SUCH A HUGE RELIEF. 1665 01:22:06,633 --> 01:22:08,200 Diana: I HAD NO IDEA 1666 01:22:08,200 --> 01:22:12,133 HOW HARD THIS JOURNEY WAS GONNA BE OVER THE LAST YEAR. 1667 01:22:12,133 --> 01:22:13,833 BUT I KNOW EACH STRUGGLE IS WORTH IT 1668 01:22:13,833 --> 01:22:16,467 WHEN I COME OUT THE OTHER SIDE. 1669 01:22:16,467 --> 01:22:19,067 SO, I'M EXCITED ABOUT THE FUTURE, 1670 01:22:19,067 --> 01:22:22,067 AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT THE NEXT YEAR HOLDS. 1671 01:22:22,067 --> 01:22:24,267 ** 1672 01:22:32,600 --> 01:22:36,200 MEGAN AND PAUL MOVED THE REST OF THEIR STUFF BACK TO SEATTLE, 1673 01:22:36,200 --> 01:22:38,167 AND THE LEASE IS UP HERE SOON. 1674 01:22:38,167 --> 01:22:40,833 SO, MY LITTLE SISTER HAS FLOWN DOWN TO HOUSTON 1675 01:22:40,833 --> 01:22:43,500 TO HELP ME APARTMENT SHOP RIGHT NOW. 1676 01:22:43,500 --> 01:22:45,433 ** 1677 01:22:45,433 --> 01:22:46,900 HI, I'M DIANA. NICE TO MEET YOU. 1678 01:22:46,900 --> 01:22:48,167 NICE TO MEET YOU. WELCOME. 1679 01:22:48,167 --> 01:22:50,067 LET ME TAKE YOU TO THE APARTMENT. 1680 01:22:50,067 --> 01:22:51,433 THIS IS A ONE-BEDROOM, ONE-BATH 1681 01:22:51,433 --> 01:22:53,333 WITH A LIVING ROOM AND A DINING ROOM. 1682 01:22:53,333 --> 01:22:55,267 WOW, THIS IS REALLY NICE. THANK YOU. 1683 01:22:55,267 --> 01:22:56,400 YEAH, I LIKE THE HARDWOOD FLOORS. 1684 01:22:56,400 --> 01:22:57,667 ME, TOO. I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THAT. 1685 01:22:57,667 --> 01:23:01,067 I REALLY LIKE THE HARDWOOD FLOORS, SO... 1686 01:23:01,067 --> 01:23:03,833 I'M GONNA STAY HERE IN TEXAS FOR ANOTHER YEAR. 1687 01:23:03,833 --> 01:23:06,433 AND ONCE I GET MY FINAL SKIN SURGERIES 1688 01:23:06,433 --> 01:23:10,800 AND HIT MY TARGET, THEN I'M MOVING BACK TO SEATTLE. 1689 01:23:10,800 --> 01:23:12,333 GREAT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 1690 01:23:12,333 --> 01:23:13,900 THANK YOU. WE'LL SPEAK SOON. 1691 01:23:13,900 --> 01:23:15,800 HAVE A NICE DAY. 1692 01:23:15,800 --> 01:23:19,467 Diana: I'VE COME SO FAR IN SUCH A SHORT TIME. 1693 01:23:19,467 --> 01:23:21,733 I'VE LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT MYSELF, 1694 01:23:21,733 --> 01:23:23,900 AND I'M CONTINUING TO LEARN EVEN MORE 1695 01:23:23,900 --> 01:23:27,200 AS I MEET WITH MY THERAPIST. 1696 01:23:27,200 --> 01:23:29,433 AND I CAN ALREADY SEE THE CHANGES IN ME 1697 01:23:29,433 --> 01:23:31,700 THAT ARE RESULTING FROM THAT. 1698 01:23:31,700 --> 01:23:34,400 AND THAT MAKES ME WANT TO KEEP GOING. 1699 01:23:34,400 --> 01:23:37,933 ** 1700 01:23:42,300 --> 01:23:43,733 I'VE STARTED TO DO SOMETHING 1701 01:23:43,733 --> 01:23:45,967 I'VE WANTED TO DO FOR A WHILE NOW. 1702 01:23:45,967 --> 01:23:48,567 SO, I'M VOLUNTEERING AT A CRISIS CENTER, 1703 01:23:48,567 --> 01:23:51,400 AND I'M CURRENTLY IN TRAINING TO BE A CRISIS COUNSELOR. 1704 01:23:51,400 --> 01:23:55,567 BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF AND HURT LIKE I WAS 1705 01:23:55,567 --> 01:23:59,100 WHEN I WAS YOUNGER MADE ME FEEL SO SCARED AND LOST. 1706 01:23:59,100 --> 01:24:01,867 AND I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO BE IN THE POSITION 1707 01:24:01,867 --> 01:24:06,367 THAT I WAS IN, WHERE THEY JUST FELT ALONE AND UNLOVED. 1708 01:24:06,367 --> 01:24:09,133 AND IF I CAN PREVENT JUST ONE OTHER CHILD 1709 01:24:09,133 --> 01:24:11,967 FROM FEELING THE SAME WAY, THEN I'LL FEEL LIKE 1710 01:24:11,967 --> 01:24:15,933 I'M ABLE TO START TO GIVE BACK IN SOME SMALL WAY. 1711 01:24:15,933 --> 01:24:19,067 SO, I'M REALLY EXCITED RIGHT NOW TO HAVE FOUND THIS OPPORTUNITY 1712 01:24:19,067 --> 01:24:20,933 AND TO BE DOING THIS. 1713 01:24:20,933 --> 01:24:23,967 IT'S SOMETHING I NEVER WOULD'VE DREAMED I COULD EVER DO. 1714 01:24:27,867 --> 01:24:30,300 WHEN YOU SPEND SO MUCH OF YOUR LIFE TRAPPED SOMEWHERE 1715 01:24:30,300 --> 01:24:34,667 THAT IS YOUR WHOLE WORLD, YOU HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO DREAM. 1716 01:24:34,667 --> 01:24:37,300 COME ON GUYS, I BROUGHT YOU LUNCH. 1717 01:24:37,300 --> 01:24:38,633 AND SOME OF THOSE DREAMS 1718 01:24:38,633 --> 01:24:41,833 ARE LITTLE THINGS THAT OTHER PEOPLE TAKE FOR GRANTED, 1719 01:24:41,833 --> 01:24:46,067 LIKE JUST GOING TO A PARK AND FEEDING FISH. 1720 01:24:46,067 --> 01:24:47,800 I WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN DARED DREAM 1721 01:24:47,800 --> 01:24:50,667 I COULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS A YEAR AGO. 1722 01:24:50,667 --> 01:24:54,967 BUT NOW I CAN GO OUT BY MYSELF AND DO THINGS ON MY OWN. 1723 01:24:54,967 --> 01:24:57,333 IT'S JUST AN INCREDIBLE FEELING. 1724 01:24:57,333 --> 01:24:59,133 IT'S KIND OF LIKE LIFE. 1725 01:24:59,133 --> 01:25:02,200 WE CAN STAY IN THE MURKY WATER AND LOSE HOPE, 1726 01:25:02,200 --> 01:25:06,067 OR WE CAN JUST COME UP TOWARDS THE SUNSHINE. 1727 01:25:06,067 --> 01:25:08,567 I WANT TO BE IN THE LIGHT, 1728 01:25:08,567 --> 01:25:12,567 AND THAT'S WHAT I'VE DEDICATED MY LIFE TO NOW -- 1729 01:25:12,567 --> 01:25:15,867 LIVING IN THE LIGHT AND MAKING SURE I HELP OTHERS 1730 01:25:15,867 --> 01:25:21,133 LIVE IN IT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE NOW EVERY DAY IS A GIFT 1731 01:25:21,133 --> 01:25:24,867 AND NOTHING IS GONNA TAKE ME OFF TRACK AGAIN. 1732 01:25:24,867 --> 01:25:27,533 I'M DONE WITH THAT KIND OF LIFE, 1733 01:25:27,533 --> 01:25:30,067 AND I'M DEDICATED TO GETTING TO MY GOAL 1734 01:25:30,067 --> 01:25:31,867 AND BECOMING THE PERSON I KNOW I CAN BE AGAIN.